Page 19 of Before We're More Than Friends
Chloe
Can I . . . can I tell you what my name is? I know we promised we would never share, but I just want to tell you mine.
Of course.Not.I was about to send the message when a wave of fear crashed over me. No way in hell was I about to let her tell me her name on an emotional impulse. After years of knowing her as only Chloe V, I knew I couldn’t handle hearing the full thing in a state like this. When I had feelings so complicated that I found my head spinning.
Alex
Not yet.
The sigh I let out was so loud that Houston’s head popped up from the foot of my bed after he’d been snoring for the past half hour.
Chloe
What do you mean? Why don’t you want to know now?
Alex
Because
I accidentally hit send before I could finish writing my excuse.Well, crap.
Chloe
Because what?
Because for some reason my brain chemistry is messed up and I have this weird belief that knowing too much will ruin what we have, but if knowing too much would ruin that, do we really have anything in the first place?
Gosh,I hated myself.
Alex
Sorry, caught me off guard.
You can tell me.
I can tell you mine back.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?I fought the urge to shout to myself out loud.
Chloe’s typing bubble popped up for a solid two minutes. I rocked back and forth on my bed as music played in my ears, trying to pay attention to the lyrics and not my heart having a freak-out session in my chest.
The notification sound came through while I was on another tab, and I nearly knocked my laptop off the bed.
I was going to crap or piss myself. Or throw up. All over these white sheets.
I swallowed the acid in my throat as I clicked back to Connections to see her message.
Chloe
Forget it. Have a good night.
The green icon next to her profile picture turned gray, meaning she’d logged off.
I let out a sigh of relief, putting a hand to my chest to stop my heart from launching out of my body. A wave of guilt washed over me, knowing I shouldn’t have pushed her away like that. But the part of me that wanted to hold onto something, anything, from my old life didn’t want to be sensible. I sent a final message before putting my laptop in its case.
Alex
Sorry. Good night
