Page 20 of Before We're More Than Friends
I threw my head onto the pillow, shaking the bed frame. “That was way too close,” I said out loud, unable to keep quiet any longer.
Kami, sitting on the queen bed next to mine, looked up from her phone. “You were typing up a storm there.”
“For a very good reason.” I put my pillow over my head, tempted to scream into it like when I was little and didn’t know what to do with my emotions.
Kami got off her bed and sat on mine. “It’ll be all right.” She took off the pillow and rubbed my head. Though she was only a year older, she was like a second mother to me with her caring nature. She didn’t need to know what was wrong to comfort me, never asking when she knew I wouldn’t want to answer. She was just there for me.
“I don’t know,” I said, still inwardly kicking myself.
“It will. Just think about all the great things ahead of us. Mom has a new job at a cool place, and we get to work with a bunch of new, loving animals. And people.” Her voice piped up. “It’s going to be so much fun.”
I sat up, my mouth hanging open at her optimism. “And Dallas wasn’t fun?” I blinked. “You were so upset about leaving when Mom first announced it.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. And, yes, I was upset, but that’s because the news was fresh. It was three and a half weeks ago, Dallas. Feelings can change.”
Something in my chest tightened. “You changed your feelings about leaving your forever home that quickly?”
Kami crossed her arms over her chest. “We already talked about this, Dallas.” Her tone went from bubbly to sharp.
Guilt twisted in my chest again. “I’m sorry.”
Kami’s boyfriend, Greg, had dumped her when she told him we were moving the Saturday night after Mom’s announcement. I knew there was more to that than what she was letting on, but Iwasn’t going to budge. Kami kept her business private, and she did it well. But I’d never liked Greg in the first place and was a little bit relieved that Kami no longer had to deal with his bullcrap.
“It’s . . . it’s fine. It happened for the better.” She sighed, her eyes no longer meeting mine. “You have to look at what’s ahead of you and not live in the past.”
“Doesn’t anxiety stem from living in the future?”
Her sigh this time was a grunt. “Dallas.”
“Sorry.” I shifted on the bed. “I’m happy for Mom, and I want you both to have new opportunities for better things. But I don’t want to meet new people and volunteer at a new place. I just want you to understand.”
“I do understand. But you don’t understand me.”
“I do.” I was trying to, but it was hard with the different emotions I’d been battling. I’d also never been in a breakup—unless dumping Darla Stratton in fifth grade for being dared to kiss me counted as one. I didn’t know how the change felt. And with the cold way Kami had been acting, I didn’t want to know.
Kami shook her head before going back to her bed. “Good night, Dallas.”
So this conversation was going to end that way too? I really was bad with girls. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” She turned off her lamp before wrapping herself in the sheets.
I turned off my lamp, grabbed my earbuds, and turned on my “I miss Dallas and want to drown in my tears” playlist. Very dramatic name, but I blamed Chloe for getting me into making moody playlists like that.
My stomach knotted as I thought about our conversation. I longed to go back and change my response. I’d always told Chloe to fight against her fears no matter how strong they were in her mind, yet I couldn’t even do the same.
Because I knew I loved her more than I should. And ifanything ruined our relationship, it would ruin what was left of the life I used to love.
Tears spilled down my cheeks as I lay in my bed, hoping my favorite ballads would help me relax. They didn’t. I couldn’t fall asleep until three in the morning.
Entering our new house felt like entering heaven. Not because it was that stunning, but because the road trip from hell was finally over.
“Oh my gosh, there’s so much room in here!” Kami spun around the living room, taking in the white and beige everywhere. Yeah, it was a little bigger than our home in Dallas, but that didn’t mean I wanted to take it all in. I just wanted somewhere to stretch and wake up my butt, which had gone numb hours ago. “As soon as we put in our furniture, it’ll feel like home already.”
“It will.” Mom smiled at me. “What do you think?”
I shrugged. “It’s cool.”
Mom had shown us pictures of it a few weeks ago, but it just looked like any two-story house. The only significant difference was that the master bedroom was downstairs and that there was an extra bedroom upstairs. The bedrooms were smaller than the ones at home because of the floor plan, which meant I might have to get rid of a few things. As if I hadn’t lost enough.
