Page 71 of Before We're More Than Friends
“You know, the way you’re so real about your feelings is one of the things I love about you.”
“Really?” Being raised to handle all my emotions privately, I didn’t like how the façade I put on often crumbled. Enough was already going on in my brain, which made pretending to be okay exhausting.
Arielle nodded. “You’re better at wearing your heart on your sleeve. Especially around the people you love.”
“I don’t enjoy showing my heart to people.” Being vulnerable always came with a sense of discomfort, even with someone I trusted. The only person I’d ever had an easy time being open to so quickly was Alex.
Maybe that was why he’d ghosted me.
“You think I do?” Arielle fiddled with her visor to block out the sun. “You think I like crying and talking about the things that destroy me inside?”
“I know you don’t.” Arielle had to be in a very high emotional state to talk about her feelings, but that mostly consisted of arguing with our parents at the top of her lungs instead of a healthy conversation. And even then, she hated for any of us to see her cry. She’d always been that way.
“We’re both grieving, and it’s an ugly process. But what matters is that we stick together.”
“The moral of every kids’ show,” I said in a humorous voice. “Let’s hold hands as we walk into the shelter, shall we?”
She laughed, her eyes lighting up. “You know what I’m trying to say. You’re better with words than I am. For crying out loud, you still write freaking letters to Alex.”
My heart dipped. “Not anymore.”
She raised an eyebrow. “What happened?”
“He moved to Boulder Valley and stopped answering my messages.” Hurt cut into my chest as I thought about how close I’d been to telling Alex my real name. Throughout our friendship, he’d never explained why he didn’t want to know personal details about me. Details pen pals and online friends knew about each other well before the six-year mark. “I think I did something wrong.”
“Really? Oh, Raina, I’m sorry.” Arielle parked in our usualparking space at the animal shelter before killing the engine. “You guys have talked consistently since fifth grade.”
“I know. It’s just . . .” I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest. “I just don’t understand why. It’s not like I can search Boulder Valley for him when I’ve never even seen a picture of his face.”
“The fact that he never wanted to share any information with you is honestly concerning in the first place.” Arielle bit her lip. “Where did he used to live? Texas?”
“Dallas. They moved at the end of January.”
Something flickered across Arielle’s face, but I couldn’t discern what it was. “Interesting.”
I blinked. “What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing.” She got out of the car, and I followed her. “Want to lock arms and skip into the shelter?”
“Sure.” I smiled, even though I wished she’d tell me what she thought about the Alex situation.
She grinned before locking her arm with mine, and we skipped into the shelter together, closer than we’d been in a long time.
“Good afternoon, Leanne.” I walked into the office, grinning at the sight of a beautiful black kitten with yellow-green eyes. “Who’s this?”
“Good afternoon, Raina.” Leanne rubbed the kitten’s back. “This is Moonlight. We rescued her and her sister yesterday, but she hurt her paw. I’m taking care of her until it heals.”
Moonlight looked at me with her big eyes and let out a meow. My heart turned into a puddle. “Aw, she has the cutest meow.” I batted my eyes at her, and she meowed again and reached out her good paw. “I’m already in love with her.”
“Me too.” Leanne laughed. “I missed you last week.”
“Yeah.” I sat down and stared at my lap. “You already know why I haven’t been here. Unless you live under a rock and only listen to music twenty-four seven like I do.”
She nodded, sympathy growing in her gaze. “Dallas told me about it. I’m very sorry about your dad.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You heard it from Dallas?”
“He talked about it at dinner last Tuesday. He seemed worried for you guys.”
