Page 96 of Before We're More Than Friends
“How did it go?” Hayden asked me after the timer went off. “Have you come up with anything you like?”
“Surprisingly, yes.” I bit my lip as I stared at my notebook. So many of these lyrics were about Raina. There was no way I could ever use them for anything. “I-I don’t think I can share them, though. They’re personal.”
Hayden nodded, a thoughtful look in his eyes. “Mine too.” He sighed, tossing his braids back. “Do you . . . do you ever think about your relationships and wish you could go back and fix something?”
I raised an eyebrow at him, not sure how I wanted to answer it.
“Sorry, it’s just . . .” He dug his teeth into his lip. “Can I tell you something?”
I nodded.
“You know when we were talking about our exes and stuff one day?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I used to date Arielle.” He tapped his pen against his notebook. “But it was an accident.”
“An accident?” I racked my brain for how Hayden and Arielle had started dating in the first place, but nothing came to mind. How did you accidentally date someone?
“It’s a long story.” Hayden waved a hand. “Point is that she dumped me and made it clear she doesn’t want a second chance. To keep it simple, I have theworstluck with girls.”
I let out a soft chuckle. “Try me.”
He blinked. “Huh?”
Shoot. What happened to keeping things private? “Sorry.” I swallowed. “But I have bad luck with girls too.” I fiddled withthe watch on my wrist, debating whether or not I should give in. At least breadcrumbs of the truth like I’d given Kami.
“Is it Raina?” Hayden asked.
I groaned. “Why does it always have to be Raina?”
“I’m not an idiot, Dallas. Something is happening between you two, and no one is confessing it.” He held up his hands. “No pressure to confess because I get it, our friend group is practically cursed when it comes to relationships. We should call ourselves the Single Seven or something.” He waved a hand. “Not that being in love is the most important thing in the world.”
“It’s not.” I looked at my milkshake. “But it definitely changes your life.”
“You’ve been in love before?”
I drew in a sharp breath.Just tell him. Maybe he can even help. He’s known her for years. “Promise not to tell anyone this?”
“Did anyone die?”
“Not yet.”
Hayden zipped his lips.
I took in another breath before spilling to Hayden about the situation with Raina. I left out some timeline stuff, like that I’d known Raina was Chloe right away, but it didn’t make the story any less of a roller coaster. By the end, Hayden’s jaw was below the table, his eyes huge.
“Okay,” he said after I finished. “It’s fair to say you definitely have worse luck in love than me. No wonder you’ve been a total wreck this whole time.”
“Hey, now.” I sighed. “I have no idea how I’m supposed to get myself out of this situation.” I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes. “If I could just stop caring so much. Stop feeling everything so deeply.”
“Listen, I’m clearly not a love whisperer,” Hayden said. “But I know from my experiences that holding back the truth isonly going to ruin things in the long run.” He stroked his braids. “You need to tell Raina as soon as possible. Face-to-face. No hiding behind a screen.”
“I don’t know.” I shifted in my seat. “I feel like it’s already too late.”
“Don’t lie to yourself like that.” He put his hands on the table. “You don’t even have to tell her that you have feelings for her. You just need to tell her that you’re pen pals. Shoot, you can even pretend that you just found out if you want to cushion yourself a bit. If the roles were reversed, how would you feel if you found out your best friend was purposely hiding this from you and then ghosted you without any explanation?”
“I wouldn’t forgive myself.” I tugged the collar of my shirt. “But that’s the problem. I already messed up enough. I should pretend I just found out like you said or something.”
