Page 13 of Spider
I started to leave, to go back to the room he’d given me, but he gripped my arm.Not hard enough to hurt, but enough to make me stop.I hadn’t even heard him come up behind me.I turned to look at him and could tell he was still worried about me.He wasn’t the only one.I’d never had that sort of reaction before.I’d always just dealt with what happened to me, accepted it.It seemed my mind was starting to fight the abuse in a different way now.Or maybe I’d done this before and hadn’t even realized it.
“I’m moving your things down here,” he said.“I’m not letting you sleep alone.If you had a nightmare, I wouldn’t be able to hear you.”
“You didn’t seem concerned about that before, when you had me placed upstairs.”
He pulled me closer.“When I went to pick you up, I thought I was getting some spoiled, entitled little brat.I expected a diva, an overindulged princess.It never occurred to me that your father wouldn’t have kept you safe.Men are supposed to protect their children, not abuse them.”
“And because I’m damaged that makes you care more?”I asked, feeling a spark of… something.Irritation?Anger?Maybe a bit of both.“Even if I had been spoiled and coddled, I wouldn’t have deserved to be brushed off and treated like a nuisance.”
“You’re right,” he said.“And I’m sorry.I only thought about the inconvenience to myself and my club.I didn’t think about how you or your sisters were feeling.You were uprooted from your home, your country, and even if you had been kept safe all these years, it still would have been traumatic for you.”
I felt the anger drain from me.I couldn’t really be mad at him.Spider had to think of what was best for his club, and I’d been an unknown to him.The moment he’d realized I was in trouble he’d vowed to help me.He was keeping me safe.Violeta and I had to hope that Sofia was as well.I didn’t know why she’d been given to another club, but if the man guarding her was anything like Spider, then she was better off than she’d been back home.
“You know how you said you’re old but not dumb?”I asked.
“Yeah.”
“You were wrong.You are most certainly dumb when it comes to women.”
He chuckled and held me against him.“You’re right, but then, I think most men are rather stupid when it comes to the fairer sex.You don’t exactly come with a set of instructions.”
“If we did, would you bother to read them?”
His body shook, and then he burst out with a deep laugh that had me looking up and smiling at him.He looked younger, carefree, and really happy in that moment.Not that I thought he was old.Hemight have thought that, but I certainly didn’t.Age was just a number, and if he brought it up one more time I’d find a way to get even.He was pissing me off with that nonsense.
“I’m going to assume this means you aren’t scared of me,” he said, humor shining in his eyes.
His words startled me a moment.I’d never spoken to a man like that before, never teased one or let my temper show.Maybe he was right.I knew he made me feel safe, but perhaps while I was under Spider’s roof I would start to heal.I didn’t think I’d be so bold with anyone else, but I knew he wasn’t going to hurt me.Even though we were still essentially strangers, there was goodness in him.We’d been intimate, but I knew that there was much I didn’t know about Spider or his club.Still, if he were going to hurt me surely he’d have done it by now.
“I’m not scared of you,” I said, “but I don’t think I’m ready to be quite so bold with anyone else just yet.”
“Take your time.Everyone heals in their own unique way and at their own pace.It’s not a race, Luciana.”He frowned.“You don’t like your name.”
“The Luciana part doesn’t really bother me,” I assured him.
“Would you like to have your last name legally changed?”he asked.
“Is that possible?I don’t care what it is as long as it’s not Gomez,” I said.
“I’ll have Surge work on it.He’s fairly new to the club and came highly recommended by Wire over at the Dixie Reapers.The man’s a computer genius so you won’t even have to leave the compound to have your name changed.”
I looked around his room.“You really want me to move in here?You don’t want your space?”
“I really want you here.I’m going to get dressed, then I’ll bring your bag down.I’ll ask a few of the guys to come with us into town.You need clothes, shoes, and whatever other crap women can’t live without.”
I fingered my wet hair.“Conditioner would be nice.”
“Then you’ll have it.”He winked and brushed a kiss against my cheek.
I held the towel around me as I watched him quickly pull on some clothes.He left and I heard his tread on the stairs.I could have easily gone up after my clothes, but I was learning to like having someone do nice things for me.If my father ever offered to do something or gift me a trinket I’d wanted, then it came with strings attached.That didn’t seem to be the case with Spider.
He returned, my bag clutched in his hand, and he passed it to me.While I dressed, he finished getting ready.I cast my gaze his way a few times, watching as he put something in his hair and beard.He combed his beard with a small wooden comb, then put on cologne.Spider came back into the bedroom and slipped on his cut.By then I’d finished dressing and had my hair pulled up in a messy knot.I really wanted to get it cut.My father had never permitted me to do such a thing, saying it devalued me.
Spider looked down at my shoes and shook his head.I stared at the flats but didn’t see anything wrong with them.I lifted my gaze to his.
“When you’re not pregnant and able to ride on a bike, you’ll need boots.For now, we’ll just find you some things that will be comfortable during your pregnancy.”
My hand went to my belly and my heartbeat stalled a moment.He’d mentioned that keeping the baby was my decision, but that was before he’d claimed me.What if he didn’t want the child?I could understand if that was the case.He’d purposely removed any chance he had of creating life again.If his son was older than me, would he want to start over?
