Page 2 of Offside and Off-Limits
I take it and read the screen. Instantly, my heart begins to drum in my chest. I straighten up and hold my index finger up against my lips to tell the kids to be quiet.
This is it. My shot.
I straighten my shoulders and press answer, putting on my best phone voice. “Hello, Clara Johnson speaking,” I say, even though the caller ID has told me exactly who it is on the other end.
“Clara, hi. It's Veronica Reynolds from the Ice Breakers management team.”
“Hello, Ms. Reynolds,” I reply, keeping my voice as steady as I can manage. Which is no small feat when you’ve got one child’s set of eyes trained on you, while the other child is reaching for his hockey stick once more, ready to inflict more damage on our home.
“You're going to be sent to your room for the rest of the day for breaking the wall,” Hannah says as she makes a grab for his hockey stick.
“I am not!” Benny rebuffs, yanking on the stick.
“Yes, you are!” Hannah replies.
I place my hand on the offending weapon and glare at both my offspring as I say, “Bear with me a moment, please, Ms. Reynolds.”
“Of course,” she replies, and I wonder how much of Benny’s exchange she heard.
Placing my hand over the speaker, I say, “I’ll have the stick, thank you. Now both of you, go get changed, ready to go to your lessons.”
To my utter astonishment both kids do as I say, leaving me alone in the kitchen, holding the hockey stick in one hand and my phone in the other.
Miracles like this are few and far between in parenting.
“Sorry about that,” I say to Veronica Reynolds.
“It sounds like you’ve got your hands full, Clara.”
“Not at all,” I reassure her because what doesthatmean? You’re too busy to take the job? You’re better off remaining a stay-at-home mom who works part-time doing a mind-numbing admin job for a local accounting firm?
“I’m calling with good news, Clara. You really impressed us in your interview. We would love to offer you the job of Social Media Manager for the Ice Breakers.”
Suddenly holes in the wall and arguing kids melt into the background.
“Are you serious?” My voice veers more toward the squeaky mouse end of the scale than the,I’m totally in control and getawesome job offers every day of the weekthat I’m aiming for. In my defense, this is my absolute dream job, and I’d already convinced myself I didn’t get it to lessen the blow when I got the news.
She laughs. “Of course I’m serious. We loved your social media ideas. They were so fresh and fun.”
Wow. Not only am I getting offered the job, but I’m getting complimented by Veronica Reynolds, Chief Marketing Officer for the Ice Breakers, and altogether impressive businesswoman. Aka, who I would love to be, given half the chance.
“Thank you so much. That means a lot coming from you,” I gush.
“Flattery will get you everywhere, Clara.” I can hear the smile in her voice.
“I’ll remember that,” I reply, my giddiness threatening to roll out of me in an excited squeak. But I’m aiming for non-mouse here, so I do my best to hold it in.
“Not only did you impress in the interview, but the strong, authentic voice in your existing social media presence showed us your authentic self in an interesting way. We think you’ll be a real asset to the Ice Breakers.”
It had felt like a risk at the time to use my @CFSMomLife as a reference point for what I'm capable of online. I started the account soon after my diagnosis with chronic fatigue many years ago, and the online community that I hooked into has grown to be such an important part of my wellness journey.
And the fact I've got a decent following these days can't have hurt, either.
“So my CFS isn't an issue?” I ask and hold my breath.
“We’re an equal opportunities employer at the Ice Breakers, Clara. We only employ the best, regardless of their personal circumstances, and you have successfully used social media to share your story and inspire others. In a crowded online world where it's hard to get heard, that's quite an achievement. Unless, of course, you're posting funny cat videos.”
I let out a relieved laugh. “I don't even own a cat.”
