Page 56 of Marry Me…Maybe?
She got up wearily from the table and walked out of the kitchen without another word.
He didn’t try and stop her, and she didn’t blame him. What was the point?
She was stuffing yesterday’s outfit into her weekend bag, trying to ignore the way her hands were shaking, when he walked into the bedroom and stopped dead, staring at her in confusion.
‘What are you doing?’
‘What does it look like I’m doing? I’m leaving.’
‘Why?’
She frowned and shook her head, feigning incredulity. ‘We can’t have any kind of contact now. Your mum’s going to find out about me and my “crazy” family and want me away from you pronto – I can guarantee it.’
He moved towards her and put his hand on her bag, stopping her from zipping it up. ‘What if I don’t want you to go?’
She shot him a grimace. ‘Then you lose everything – yourhome, your business, your pride.’ She shook her head and pushed his hand away from the zip so she could do it up. ‘You don’t want to be mixed up with someone like me, Theo. I do bad things – like lying about my mother being dead and persuading you to walk straight into a press ambush by using sex as a weapon.’
‘You don’t care that we’ll never see each other again?’ His voice sounded gruff and unsteady.
A hot torrent of guilt flooded through her, leaving a stinging resentment in its wake.
‘Hell, Theo, what do you want me to say? That I’m madly in love with you and want to turn this farce into a real relationship? That I want you to give everything up for me? That I want hearts and flowers now?’
‘Do you?’
She turned to face him and her breath caught painfully in her throat at the look of hope on his face. ‘No, I don’t. And you don’t really want me. I’m selfish and self-absorbed and quite possibly “on the wrong side of crazy”.’
He snorted angrily. ‘Is that what you’re worried about? That you’ll suffer with depression like your mother and I’ll shove you away into some institution? You know you shouldn’t believe everything you read in the papers,’ he said, evidently trying to keep his tone light, but still managing to sound like his usual ferocious self.
She shook her head. ‘No. I know you’d never do that to me.’
‘Then stay. Give us a chance,’ he said quietly.
She swallowed hard. ‘I can’t.’
Throwing his hands up in frustration, he paced away from her, then strode back, cupping her face in his hands, his gaze intense with determination. ‘Please, Emily.’
She stared at him in shock for one regret-filled moment, before closing herself down and shaking her head, loosening his grip on her.
‘You’re crazy if you think it’s a good idea to risk your inheritance for me. You’ll regret it and blame me, and I’m not prepared to be your emotional punchbag. That’s not how I play.’
This time he put a hand on each arm and dragged her close, but she looked away, avoiding his gaze.
‘You’re scared and upset. I understand why, but you can’t let fear take over your whole life. You need to face it some time. I’ll always be here for you, Emily.’ He waited until she looked him in the eye again. ‘I’ve got your back.’
She had to fight to hold back the angry, frustrated tears. She couldn’t do it to him. She’d never be able to live with herself if she let him down again – which, based on past experience, she was bound to do. It would break her heart if she sent him back into the black funk of his years after the Lauren incident. She couldn’t be responsible for causing him more pain than he’d already gone through – especially after he’d worked so hard to pull himself out of the darkness and do something good with his life. He helped people. Really made a difference to their lives. A positive one. Unlike her.
She loved him too much to drag him down with her.
She loved him?
She loved him.
Oh, heaven help her, shelovedhim.
Her whole chest felt so tight with fear and confusion and rage at the unfairness of it all she thought she might burst.
She had to get out of there. Right now. Before she did something stupid like telling him how she really felt about him.
