Page 56 of So That Happened
At least that was what she was choosing to believe.
Poor Abi. She knew exactly what it was like to be on the receiving end of Connor’s disdain, and it wasn’t fun.
Putting out a hand, she rubbed her friend’s arm gently, hoping in some way to show her she still loved her and she understood. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘What for?’
‘For bringing it up.’
Abi gave her head a small shake and seemed to pull herself together. She let out a long sigh and smoothed her hands down her skirt, composing herself.
‘It’s okay. Just something I have to live with.’
Josie’s frustration levels slammed into the red. It was absolutely gutting to see the two of them divided over something that had happened so long ago.
‘So, Josie, what exactly are you going to do to get the staff back on your side?’ Abi asked, breaking into her thoughts and lightening the sombre atmosphere with a hopeful smile.
‘I’m going to start by grovelling,’ Josie said, standing up and taking a breath, determined to make something right. The only thing within her control.
Striding to the other end of the room, where she’d left her bag and a box that she’d brought from the bakers that morning, she pulled out a chair and stepped up onto it, turning to face the now full room.
Clearing her throat loudly, she waited until she had the full attention of the staff before beginning her apology, her hands sweaty and shaking at her sides.
‘I just wanted you all to know how sorry I am for being such a bitch recently.’ There was a low murmur of whispers, but she chose to ignore them and plough on before she lost her nerve. ‘I’m going to try really hard from now on to be more patient and hopefully more approachable. If not, you have permission to kick my butt. Hard.’
There were a few giggles at this, and she took heart at the friendly response.
‘I know it’s not much, but I’ve brought in a cake for you all to share as a token of my appreciation for all the hard work you’ve put in recently.’
She reached down to the table next to her and lifted the cake she’d picked up that morning, which had the word ‘Sorry’ iced on it in large letters.
‘I’m going to skulk away now, and leave you all to it, but I’ll see you tomorrow,’ she said, stepping down from the chair and turning to give Abi a smile. Her friend smiled back and gave her a silent clap, nodding her head in appreciation.
She was under no illusion that she was going to be totally forgiven right away, but it was a start.
* * *
Josie felt drained for the rest of the day. She paced aimlessly around London, barely taking in her surroundings.
The South Bank hummed with life as she wandered past bars filled with people out enjoying a drink in the sunshine. Their chatter and laughter rang out across the water, mixing with the hypnotic sound of the tide lapping against the shore. Josie imagined she was floating above it all, in some kind of dispossessed state. Disconnected.
The sun penetrated her clothes and warmed her skin. Vitamin D. Good for her happiness levels. Her stomach plunged as Connor’s words filtered through her mind.
How was it possible to ache for someone so much?
Being with him had made her question exactly what she wanted from life. He’d drawn back the veil to show her how much fun she was missing, leaving an aching sadness in her belly for all the wasted opportunities, all the friends she’d let fall by the wayside. She was proud of what she’d helped achieve with the business but, like any addiction, she’d let it overtake her life to the point where it had become unhealthy.
Cold turkey with a side order of Connor had been a roaring success.
Connor. She’d got over her crazy workaholic attitude. Now she just needed to get over him, too.
The hopelessness of the situation came back to haunt her every so often, and she had to duck into a shop or gallery in order to give her brain something else to focus on. There was a constant tight feeling in her throat and her stomach churned, so she didn’t even bother to try and eat anything.
She knew what she needed to do. She needed to arrange some counselling to work through her anger issues, stop living in Maddie’s shadow and be her own person – take responsibility for her actions. Make the effort to start seeing friends again, cut back on the amount she was working and get her bloody life back.
Meet someone new, perhaps?
Sadness crushed her at the thought. She didn’t want anyone else. Connor was so right for her in a lot of ways.
