Page 33 of Best Laid Plans
He just looked back at her with an expectant expression on his face.
‘Are – are you sure you want to hear it?’ she stuttered.
‘Oui.’
His genuine concern lit a fire within her, warming her both inside and out, but still she hesitated, not sure she wanted him to know the full humiliating story.
He held up a finger. ‘Wait. I’ll get us more beer.’
Returning a moment later with two more bottles of ice-cold beer, he handed one to her and sat back down, clinking the neck of his against hers before taking a long swallow and raising his eyebrows at her expectantly, waiting for her to begin.
She couldnottell him, of course – could make up some general non-specific story about things not working out between her and Gavin – but she respected Julien too much to fob him off like that.
She took a long drink from her own bottle, then sat back and took a steadying breath, fighting back the nerves in her tummy before she spoke.
‘Apparently my ex, Gavin, needed to be with someone who was more grateful to have him as a boyfriend.’
‘More grateful?’ Julien repeated slowly, looking thunderstruck.
She sighed and spread out her hands on her lap, staring down at them for courage.
‘Yes, well, our relationship was a bit strange. We met when he needed somewhere to stay after his wife told him she wanted a divorce and I had a spare room available, so I offered it to him as a stopgap – as a favour to a friend of a friend. He was an emotional wreck when he moved in, and I made a huge effort to make him feel as welcome as possible.’ She took a breath. ‘We ended up getting really close and things sort of developed between us – romantically.’
She glanced at Julien, but he just nodded.
‘I really liked being the one he leaned on for support. I guess it fed into my need to try and fix people, or at least make their lives easier. I’d lost my dad six months before, after years of looking after him, and I felt a bit adrift. Gavin was the first serious boyfriend I’d ever had, and I really threw myself into being with him.’ She looked away, across towards the darkening horizon.
‘I guess I feel drawn to looking after people. It’s what I do. It makes me feel happy. Useful. In control – or something.’ She knew she sounded defensive, but Julien didn’t react, so she kept talking.
‘Everything was okay between Gavin and me until I started the Welcome Cafe,’ she continued, wanting Julien to have the whole story before he judged her.
‘He wanted to give me advice about how to run it – he has his own catering business – and he used to get really offended if I didn’t do what he suggested.’
Julien went to speak but she held up a hand, asking him to wait.
‘To be fair to him, I’d started spending a lot of evenings working late and at the weekends so I guess he must have felt neglected as well as ignored.’ She sighed and rubbed a hand over her face, vaguely aware of how tight her skin felt after her dip in the sea.
‘Thinking about it now, I can see the signs I missed. He’d been frustrated with me at the end of last year because he’d wanted me to go to parties and networking events with him but I’d made commitments at work that I couldn’t get out of, so I hadn’t been able to go to them.’
Balancing the bottle on her knee, she twisted the neck in her fingers. ‘Then, three months ago, I found an engagement ring in the pocket of his coat and got all excited about it being for me.’ The familiar tension began to build at the base of her spine.
‘He walked into the hall while I was standing there with a goofy smile on my face, staring at it. He went totally white. Like all the blood had drained from his face. At first, I thought it was because I’d ruined the surprise by finding the ring before he’d had chance to set up the proposal, but the look in his eyes told me otherwise.’
She realigned the bottle so that the label faced her square-on, unable to look at Julien now, humiliation burning her cheeks.
‘He’d bought it to propose to the woman he’d been cheating on me with.’ She stared harder at the beer bottle, catching a drip of condensation on her fingertip as it made its way down the neck. ‘He said he was going to tell me when he’d figured out the kindest way to break it to me, but I guess fate stepped in and forced his hand.’
She made an exploding motion with her hands. ‘And that was the end of our relationship. They’re getting married on Christmas Day, apparently. A winter wedding. Very romantic.’
Looking away, she tested the cool base of the empty bottle against the prickling palm of her hand to distract herself from how hot with mortification she suddenly felt.
‘He didn’t even give me a chance to fix what I was doing wrong – just found someone else and moved on.’
‘It sounds like there wasn’t anything for you to fix. He was a coward who used you to get back on his feet – taking advantage of your compassionate nature – then cheated on you because he’s weak and selfish,’ Julien said. There was a rough edge to his voice that she hadn’t heard before.
Determined not to give in to the humiliation pressing at the edges of her mind, she sat up on the sofa and gave him a smile which she hoped came across with sufficient sangfroid. ‘Yeah, maybethat’show I should think of it.’
He was looking at her now with a strange expression on his face. Something like solidarity. Or affection.
