Page 66 of Colt
“It’s okay,” I say, throwing my leg over him and taking him deep inside of me.
“Hell,” he breathes, as he enters me slowly. I feel each excruciating edge of him keenly. I moan, his hot, bare skin driving me insane.
He starts to arch his hips upward, claiming me, fucking me with an intensity that shocks me. I didn’t know that he could do that from this position, especially not with his injuries, but Lord. He’s taking me to another planet.
He takes me like that, over and over again while I arch my hips and ride along with the rhythm. It’s fast, it’s furious, and he comes in a hot rush inside of me. Making me tremble, shake, cry out his name.
And as the echo of our voices fades into the trees, I realize that we’ve just taken a massive risk.
I can’t bring myself to care. To be regretful. To be embarrassed.
“That was amazing,” he says.
“I’ve never…” I collapse onto his chest for a moment, before sliding off of him. “I’ve never done that before. Without a condom.”
He shakes his head. “Me neither.”
“Really? Never?”
“No. I… Generally speaking I would rather double up than ever forget. You know how my dad is. I’ve always been clear that I was never going to litter the world with my bastards.” He’squiet for a moment. “If you got pregnant I’d take care of you. I would take care of the baby.”
That quiet admission, the fact that he would take on that kind of responsibility just because we both lost control, makes my heart squeeze tight.
“I’m on the pill,” I say. “So, that’s not going to happen. I just… I don’t usually do that, because it seems to… Close.”
But it didn’t this time?
“No,” I say. “It felt right. It felt good.”
He touches my cheek. “I kind of like it that you thought about it.”
“You thought I did it on accident? I said it was okay.”
“Yeah. But I sure as hell wasn’t thinking. But I just kind of like that you did. That you actually just wanted me. Like that.”
And I liked it that he hadn’t thought of it all. That he lost control. We might be opposites, but we are apparently kind of mutually needy and messed up.
Good thing we have those boundaries.
Good thing.
“This is by far my favorite trip to the lake that I’ve ever had.”
I laugh, my voice echoing across the water. “Me too. But you know, we’re going to have to figure out how to act around other people.”
He nods slowly. “Yeah. You think that bar night is a great idea?”
“Yeah. Sure. I think it’s a good idea. Because that’s going to be life, isn’t it? After this is all over.”
“Yeah,” he says. “It is.”
We’ve never been awkward after sex, not even really the first time. But for some reason, this time feels a little bit awkward. I wonder if it’s just having to come down from the intensity of it. I know I personally had some big realizations in the lead up to it. I don’t know if he did.
I want to ask, but I’m not brave enough. This is so tangled up. And it hasn’t felt tangled up, not the whole time. It’s felt great. Good and fine.
But now suddenly it feels a little bit fraught.
I’ve never had a relationship before. Not a real one. I’ve never felt like I couldn’t dig or ask for what the guy was thinking or feeling. Because I’ve never worried what he might have to say. The stakes just never felt all that high.
