Page 128 of Breakaway Goals
Alexander had never played team sports, even T-ball as a kid, and had had difficulty understanding all the things that he felt Hayes had to put above their relationship.
It was that, and the shards of Morgan still lingering in his heart, that had doomed them. Alexander hadn’t been capable of understanding, but Morgan had practically been born understanding.
It felt good to know that problem wouldn’t be following them. They had others, of course, but notthatone.
Maybe he and Morgan hadn’t always been close, but they’d always spoken the same language. Had the same pressures bearing down on their shoulders. Understood the particular weight that first overalls faced.
It was why Hayes hoped, with a fervency that scared the shit out of him, that they could make this work. Because while he had friends—he and Zach had been sharing secrets since they were teenagers—he’d never met anyone whogothim the way that Morgan did, and he’d never imagined understanding anyone the way he could Morgan. Just by looking at the expression on his face, the guarded shadows in his eyes.
Even if that meant possibly tempting fate and telling Finn barely a week after they’d gotten together.
Hayes didn’t avoid Finn during practice. He couldn’t. And he didn’t even want to. But he would admit that he felt less inclined to head immediately over in his rookie’s direction. He’d spent a lifetime not letting secrets slip, so he didn’t think he’d letthisone slip now, but there was still enough of a concern that there was a noticeable pause every time it would make sense for him to interact with Finn.
That alone made him want to agree with whatever Morgan suggested at lunch.
Still, he was a little taken aback when Morgan leaned in, just after they’d sat down at Hayes’ favorite sub shop, only a few blocks from his house, and said, “I want to tell Finn that we’re together.”
Hayes had absolutely known it was coming. Had even thought about it, as requested, and still, his first gut reaction was to ask Morgan, “Are you sure we’re really together?” Even though he hadjustgone out of his way to call Morgan his boyfriend not four hours ago.
Morgan clearly agreed, because he shot him a hot look. “I thought we established that already.”
“We did,” Hayes said. Why was he being so weird about this? He’d been way less freaked out about bringing Alexander around, even about telling the team that he had a boyfriend. “What if I hadn’t brought it up today?”
“Why you always gotta ask the hard questions?” Morgan asked wryly. But he didn’t give Hayes a chance to answer—no doubt because he alreadyknew. “I would’ve wanted to talk about it, regardless, but it helped to know we were on the same page. That it wasn’t going to freak you out.”
“You don’t want to lie to Finn.”See, Hayes wanted to crow smugly,I can read you, too. I know you, too.
“No. And I’m gonna assume you don’t like it either.”
“Of course not,” Hayes said.
“It’s just . . .” Morgan sighed deeply. “And this is notyourfault, it’s mine, but I haven’t been a great dad to him. I didn’t even realize I was being shitty. Well, scratch that. I didn’t care, and that’s worse, actually. Anyway I’m working on it. Being better. Lying to him now feels like I’m taking a step in the wrong direction.”
“I get it,” Hayes said. “So you want to tell him.”
“And Jacob too, by extension.” Morgan hesitated. “Though Jacob already sort of knows.”
“What,” Hayes hissed.
“Not that it’s you, but that there was a guy. Who uh . . .fucked me up,” Morgan admitted. “And then he figured out it was someone on the Sentinels.”
Hayes didn’t know what he wanted to unpack first.
“You were fucked up about me?” It was inevitable he’d choose that one before anything else.
Morgan laughed. “Uh,yeah. What possibly gave it away?”
“I just . . .” Hayes knew he was flushed red. Couldn’t quite meet Morgan’s eyes. “I guess I didn’t think about it that way. Only thatIwas fucked up about what had happened. Never knew whether to be pissed at you or miss you so much my teeth ached.”
“Didn’t know whether I missed you or hated myself more,” Morgan agreed, eyes soft.
Hayes didn’t think he’d ever seen him look like that, before. He’d believed everything Morgan had said. Every part of it had seemed to resonate with truth. This was still hitting him hard, though. Like it hadn’t felt real until this moment, and now it felt very,veryreal.
“And you told Jacob?”
“I . . .I did not handle finding out about Jacob and Finn, very well.”
Hayes couldn’t help but laugh at that. “No shit,” he said. “Did you totally lose it?”
