Page 46 of Breakaway Goals
“Why not?” But Hayes knew why not. Knew why it was dangerous. Knew it was the same reason he hadn’t told Zach before tonight. It was the same reason he hadn’t checked his texts. He wanted Morgan to have asked him what he was doing tonight—and hedidn’twant Morgan to be asking, either.
“Dude, you have been obsessed about himforever,” Zach said bluntly.
“Notobsessed,” Hayes argued.
“A little,” Zach insisted. “And now what, you’re gonna hook up with him for a weekandplay with him for a week, the guy you’ve always worshipped, the one you’ve looked up to, the one who’sjust like you,and you think you’re going to go back to your regular life, no big deal?”
“This is why I didn’t tell you,” Hayes said.
“Because I’d tell you the truth?” Zach scoffed. Then his voice softened. “Monty, the chances this is going to fuck you up—”
“I know,” Hayes said calmly. He knew it. And if Morgan texted him, wondering if he was up for whatever euphemism Morgan wanted to use for sex, he was going to say yes.
Would Morgan be a “u up?” kind of guy? Couch it in a nice friendly, “you wanna hang out?” sort of way? Like they were theoretically gonna play cards or watch a bad movie on TV but realistically, they were going to make out.
Hayes didn’t know, but he was pretty sure he was going to find out.
“What the fuck,” Zach said, full of disbelief. He didn’t sound angry, just dubious.
“I can’t . . .Iwanthim,” Hayes finally said, because that was all there was to say.
He did want Morgan.
He’d wanted him before, but it was nothing like how he wanted him now, now that he knew how it felt tohavehim.
Morgan’s eyes on him. Morgan’s attention zeroed in. Morgan’s hands touching him. Morgan’s body pressed against his body.
“Okay,” Zach said. “Have you talked about this?”
Had they? It felt like they’d said everything and nothing to each other.
“About what?”
“About what you’redoing?” Zach exhaled in frustration.
“Not really. And that’s okay—I get it.”
Zach didn’t say anything for a long moment, and Hayes knew he was being stupid but that didn’t mean he wanted to hear his best friend say it out loud.
“Well, you seem sure about this,” Zach finally said, cautious in a way he almost never was. At least never with Hayes.
“Yeah, I am,” Hayes said.
The truth was, he wasn’t sure of anything. Not Morgan. Not himself, even.
Half the time, he was wondering what the fuck he was doing—just like Zachy had—and then the other half, when Morgan finally turned his gaze on him, it felt like the most real, the most natural thing in the whole fucking world. They wanted each other; resisting the inevitable would’ve been either insane or impossible.
“If you’re sure,” Zach said again.
“Zachy,” Hayes warned.
A knock sounded on his door.
“Hey,” he said, before Zach could even protest, “I gotta go. Dinner’s here.”
They said goodbye, Zach sounding like he wanted to say more but holding back, and then Hayes dealt with room service.
He ate, flopping back on the bed. Knowing he should check his phone, but still afraid of what he might find.
