Page 83 of Breakaway Goals
Maybe if you really loved me,he’d thrown in Hayes’ face, when it had finally ended.
Hayes couldn’t even blame him for that. He’d loved Alexander as much as he could, which, admittedly, hadn’t really beenenough. It wasn’t Alexander’s fault that he wasn’t Morgan. That Morgan had taken all of his heart and hadn’t ever given it back.
“Nobody since him,” Hayes said. He took a long drink of his iced tea. “I don’t know if I’m really cut out for dating.”
“What about a hot hookup?” Jasper grinned.
Hayes shot him an incredulous look. “How do you even have the energy to troll for those?” Jasper was the textbook definition of a chaotic bi, and he had plenty of hot hookups under his belt.
Jasper’s jaw dropped. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No?”
“Dude. All you have to do is post a thirst trap and you’d probably have thousands of offers in your inbox.Legitoffers.”
Hayes brushed that off, even if Jasper was probably right. “Why would I want someone like that? Who only wants me because I’m Hayes Montgomery?”
“It’s ahookup,man. Who cares why they’re there if the dick is good?” Jasper shook his head incredulously.
“This is why I’m bad at hookups.” He hadn’t used to be. Pre-Morgan, he’d been perfectly okay with them. But falling in love with Morgan, alongside growing older and maturing enough to deserve the A and then the C, had changed him.
“A fucking waste,” Jasper said, laughing now. “God, I can’t imagine the ass I’d get if I was you.”
“I guess the city of Tampa should preemptively thank me that you’re not,” Hayes joked weakly.
Normally, these conversations with Jasper made him laugh for real. Hearing all about Jasper’s insane exploits and poking fun at him for how ridiculous he was could be a really good time.
But it didn’t feel particularly good now.
Maybe, Hayes thought morosely, Jasper was right, and since the season started he’d been too far up his own ass and far too lost in his own head.
He did his job, even on an off day, finishing up chatting with Jasper and then making his way down towards the end of the table. Making sure everyone was having a good time.
And who’s making sure you’re having a good time, Monty?That voice might normally belong to Zach, but now, it uncomfortably reminded him a little too much of Morgan.
Hayes brushed it aside as he approached where Finn was flopped down at the end of the table. He took the chair opposite him—vacated by Noah, who’d gone to talk to Jasper, probably about what kind of hot hookups he could find now that he was single.
“Hey,” Finn said, nodding at Hayes. “Having a good time?”
Like father, like son.
“Of course,” Hayes said, far too aware his answer sounded rehearsed. Perfunctory. Like something he said without even thinking about if it was true.
Did he mean it? Well, hewantedto mean it. Surely that counted for something.
Finn’s hazel eyes narrowed. He looked a lot like Morgan, but the younger, easier, less-complicated version of him. Thesofterversion. His curls fell, untamed, over his forehead, his ears.
“Anyone actually believe that?” he asked.
Hayes made a face. “Usually, yeah.”
That knowing look on Finn’s face eased. “You can be honest, you know? Is it weird?”
“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” Hayes complained.
“Probably because it’s a little weird,” Finn said sagely. “My dad’s a lot to deal with. I know exactly what that feels like. How he can eclipse everyone in his vicinity.”
“He’s not normally in my vicinity,” Hayes said, hoping that his voice sounded at least semi-normal. It was probably too much to ask to never discuss Morgan with his son.
