Page 65 of Chasing Elliott
"I was ashamed of the fact that I slept with half of the guys on campus, but that didn't stop me from telling you that."
He groaned as he began pacing in front of the coffee table, his hands running roughly through his brown hair before he waved them in the air only to run them through his hair again. Iwatched him walk back and forth for a minute before he finally stopped and looked at me.
"Do you love me?"
My entire face fell into a blank expression as I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Cooper, you know that I can't-"
"Can't just fucking say that you love me? You and I both know how you feel, but I want to hear you say it."
"Cooper, I'm not doing this," I said sternly as I sat back against the couch. "I will not say something like that in a fucking argument because it doesn't mean anything."
"Then what the fuck are we even doing here?" He asked as he turned to look at me with a blank expression.
I felt my eyes start to water but I was able to keep the tears at bay. My eyes narrowed slightly as my entire body felt like a weight was being pushed down on me, and that any minute Iwould sink into the couch. It felt like I would fall apart at any moment.
"What are you trying to say?" I asked quietly, my entire face contorting.
"Maybe this just isn't our time," Cooper answered harshly, but as soon as the words left his mouth, I saw the look of regret that covered his face but I was already shutting down.
"Then get out," I told him blandly as I sat there perfectly still, staring at the coffee tablerather than at Cooper.
"Elliott, wait no, I didn't-"
"I don't care," I mumbled sadly as I finally glanced up at him. "I have tried with all my being to be the girl that you deserve. To give you even half of what you've been able to give meand open up and be someone I was actually happy being. I gave you more than I have given anyone in my entire life, and it apparently still wasn't enough. And all because I couldn't say three fucking words."
"I'm sorry, Elli, I don't want-" but I held up a hand to silence him as I closed my eyes tightly.
"I want you to leave."
I heard him release a shaky breath, but I still didn't look up. I knew if I did the tears would fall and I'd cave in an instant. A moment of silence went by before I heard his shoes scuffling against the wood floor and next thing I knew, I heard the front door close.
A sob wrecked through me as I collapsed down onto the couch with my head buried in the cushion. I suddenly felt a wet nose nudge my hand followed up with a small whine. Glancing up, I saw Mia looking at me, so I slid against the back of the couch and she wasted no time in jumping up and curling up with me.
Wrapping my hands into her long fur, I put my head in her neck and cried until I fellasleep.
"I'm really sorry, Elli, but please don't shut me out. I didn't mean what I said and I'm sorry I hurt you. Please just call me back."Deleting the hundredth voicemail that Cooper had left me, I sat my phone on the coffee table.
I heard quiet whispers outside the door and rolled my eyes as I shook my head beforeturning on the television. Ever since our blowout, Kara and Benjamin went out of their way to make sure they weren't being affectionate or cute around me, even though I told them it honestly didn't bother me at all.
"Okay, I'll ask," Kara whispered before she closed the door. Turning around, she jumped slightly as she saw me sitting on the couch.
"What is it you are going to ask me?" I questioned as a small smile tugged at my lips. Kara sighed as she walked around the chair and fell onto the couch next to me.
"There's a party tonight and we were wondering if you wanted to come with us," she said sheepishly as she slowly looked over at me.
Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair. "I just don't know if I'm in the mood, honey. I'm sorry."
Kara looked at me with an apologetic smile before she stood up from the couch and madeher way down the hall toward her room. Turning my attention back to the television, I heard my phone begin to ring again. Groaning, I reached for it and hit decline when I saw his name pop up.
"He's a mess, you know," Kara said quietly from the hallway. "He misses you like crazy and feels like shit about how everything went down."
"Well, maybe he shouldn't have told me that this isn't our time," I fired back as my emotions began bubbling up again.
"Honey," she started to say as she walked over and knelt in front of me, grabbing my hands in hers. "He said that in the heat of the moment, he didn't actually mean it. I've been talking to him, and I know that it wasn't true. He loves you, El and I think you should just talk to him."
"I don't even know what I'd say," I mumbled sadly as I looked down at our entwined hands.
Kara released a weak breath before she squeezed my hands. "How about you start with saying you're sorry and finally telling him you love him?"
