Page 52 of Hung Up
Slipping the wristbands and my headband off, I start to put my things away and take a moment to gather myself, my feelings. That pain in my chest is back, the one I often feel whenever I think of just how lonely my life really is. I risk a glance over at Jesse to see him sitting in the exact same position—completely focused, hanging on to every word I say.
“I have never been more out of my comfort zone than I was that first day I stepped into that arena in Sacramento. But Max welcomed me and has since made me feel like I belong. And then Kai quickly became like the little brother I always wished I had. Stetson and Lee treat me like I’m their best friend, making me laugh constantly and never making me feel stupid when I try to understand things. Wyatt acts like the annoyed older brother, but he will never hesitate to try and bring you just a little bit of peace when you might need it.”
I turn, giving Jesse my full attention. “And you. You were the biggest pain in my ass when we first met.” He laughs at that, which forces a smile to tug at my lips. “You pushed buttons I didn’t even know that I had. You were annoying and self-absorbed and always liked to get the last word. But fuck, at some point things changed and I found comfort in those moments. You made me feel in a way that I don’t like and really wish I wasn’t.”
He looks like he’s going to get up at that, like he wants nothing more than to reach for me, but I hold a hand out, freezing him in place. “I have never had anyone stand up for me before the way that you did in Louisville. I’ve never had people band around me like that before. It’s always just been me standing up for myself, trying to right all the wrongs in my lifealone. So that night…overwhelmed me. I was grateful to have people who cared that much, was sad because I remembered that would all be gone in a couple months, and was angry I needed saving in the first place.”
“You didn’t need saving, Faith,” he tells me softly, his eyes appearing brighter, as if they were holding back tears. “I—well, we—couldn’t stand to watch him do that to you. We stepped in because we wanted to, not because we needed to.”
“I know,” I whisper, walking to lean against the door frame. “And I don’t know how to be okay with that, or how to wrap my head around it, for that matter. But I know I want to try. I just have one favor that I need to ask of you.”
Jesse stands, closing the gap between us as he reaches for my hands. “Anything.”
“Please try to be patient with me.”
He stares at me for a moment, searching my face, but for what, I don’t know. Eventually, he gives me a weak smile and dips his head, angling in a way for him to connect his lips with mine. It’s not a desperate, needy kiss like we’re used to exchanging. No, this one is filled with acceptance, understanding, and another emotion that I don’t want to try and put words to.
Jesse pulls away after a few seconds, giving me that gentle grin I’ve grown to look forward to seeing before he gives my hand a gentle tug and leads me out of the bathroom. Dropping my hand, he goes to the bed and grabs my pajamas, turning to put them into my hands. He drops a kiss to the top of my forehead, pushing some of my hair behind my ear.
“I’m going to get ready for bed. I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.”
Once the bathroom door shuts behind him, I strip out of my sweater and jeans, discarding my bra and underwear, and slip into my pale pink silk pajamas. Walking toward the bed,I’m about to grab my bonnet and put it on when I notice he’s swapped out the usual cotton pillowcase for my silk one. I bite my lip, setting the bonnet on the nightstand, and slip underneath the covers.
Jesse emerges a minute later, flipping off the lights as he goes. He slips in beside me, laying flat on his back much like I am, allowing the silence to settle amongst us. I want to break the silence, ask him to share something with me as I had with him. Feeling uncomfortable now that he knows more about me than I do him, that he’s aware of the most painful part of myself. But before I can utter a word, I feel his arm slip behind my head.
I roll into him on instinct, my right arm landing over his stomach and my head resting on his shoulder. He wraps his right arm around me, setting his hand on my hip. With the sound of his even heartbeat in my ear and the comfort of being wrapped up in him, it doesn’t take long for me to drift off to sleep.
19JESSE
PALM DESERT
take whatever I can get
My phone ringingon the nightstand jolts me out of my slumber. I frantically reach over and tap the snooze button on the screen before laying on my back. Chancing a peek to my right, I’m disappointed to find her side of the bed empty. Nothing on her nightstand, but her suitcase is still near my bags.
At least she didn’t completely leave.
I stare up at the ceiling as I replay last night in my head. To say it didn’t go the way I had expected is an understatement. I was ready for her to take the opportunity I presented her—to fight with me to make herself feel better. But instead, she opened up to me. And truth be told, I’m not sure how to handle that.
Yes, she’s become less hostile, nicer, and extremely helpful over the weeks. But she had never really tread into speaking about herself. Aside from her shitty exes, that is. So last night threw me for a loop. Not only did she share some of her inner turmoil, but she shared it withme. It’s what I’ve been waiting for—aching for—for the last few weeks.
But now that I have it, something doesn’t feel right. Not in the way that it happened was wrong, or that I wasn’t grateful, but I know Faith well enough to know that it’s not going to be that easy. One night of her opening up to me doesn’t mean anything. If I was worried about the possibility of flowers and a pair of boots sending her walls back up, last night is only going to reinforce them.
She asked me to try and be patient with her. So patient is what I’ll be—even if it costs me my own sanity.
Sitting up, I let my legs hang off the bed as I rub my hands down my face before running a hand through my bed head. Once my eyes come back into focus, I reach for my phone only to see a folded piece of paper sitting beside it with Pretty Boy scrawled across it. I can’t stop the smile that overtakes my face as I reach for it.
Thank you for listening to me. Some things are hard to say out loud, but you make it easier. I kind of hate you for that…but thanks.
A laugh slips out of me as I stare at her words, soaking them up and reveling in them before I fold it back up and slip it into the back of my phone case for safekeeping. After a quick shower and breakfast, I’m heading out of the hotel, that smile still plastered on my face.
The arena is bustling when I arrive. Riders and workers move throughout the hallways, their voices carrying over one another as they prepare for the night. My eyes scan the doors, searchingfor a sign indicating where the media room is. I have this unexplainable itch to see her, to look her in her eyes and see if my earlier suspicions are correct.
Am I going to need to prepare to bring her walls back down, or will she surprise me without reservations?
“Hey, kid,” Wyatt calls out, walking toward me from the other end of the hall. “What the hell did you do?”
“What do you mean?”
