Page 71 of Hung Up
“You know, one of the scariest things to ever happen to me was seeing my first positive pregnancy test,” Loretta tells me, sliding up next to me with some ingredients and a large bowl. “I never really knew if I wanted to have kids, just figured if it did ever happen to me, that it was meant to be. But staring at that positive was horrifying. I didn’t feel ready at all. I mean, having to be in charge and take care of this tiny little six-pound being?”
She shakes her head, but a smile tugs her mouth upward. “I was so scared that I would mess up and get it wrong. I mean, as a parent, you are single-handedly in charge of shaping a whole other human being. You live in this constant fear of doing the wrong thing and potentially ruining their life. Being a parent is one of the most rewarding yet scariest things you can be on this planet.
“But the fear of doing it alone? That outweighed all my other fears.” Loretta rests a hip against the counter, her focus solely on me. “We as parents want nothing more than to get everything right and to do well by our children. But sometimes we fall short, and our own fears get the better of us. We don’t alwaysmake the right choices, sometimes it feels like we rarely ever do.” She looks past me just as the front door opens, a man who looks an awful lot like Jesse—except taller and more muscular—sauntering in and heading straight for the other three. When I glance back at her, there’s a mist in her eyes, and I swear she sees them as babies as she gazes lovingly at them.
It makes my heart ache.
“All we can do is hope that those negative experiences still help to shape them into the people they’re meant to be. As much as it kills me to say this, not every bad experience is truly a bad one.” Her gaze shifts back to me, and suddenly my own eyes fill with tears. “Every single thing you’ve had to go through has shaped you into the woman you are today, and that woman?” She cups my face between her hands, her thumbs catching the stray tears that have begun to fall. “She already seems pretty damn special to me.”
“You can’t possibly know that,” I tell her through a sad, wet chuckle.
But she just shrugs. “I do. Trust me, Faith. A mother knows.”
“What if I can never let it go?” I whisper, the question that tumbles out of me surprising me. “What if that experience and all my other ones make it impossible for me to ever be…”Loved. “Happy?”
“Oh, sweet girl,” Loretta says softly, brushing the loose tendrils of hair behind my ears before letting her hands fall to my shoulders. “Someone will come along and fix all those broken pieces you think you have. They’ll put you back together, and then they’ll earn your love. The right person will walk into your life and prove to you that being happy can be the easiest thing in the world. Believe me when I say there is someone out there for you who will make you wonder why you ever doubted love in the first place.”
The sound of laughter draws our attention to the living room where Jesse and his brother are now in a heap on the floor, Stevie and Addie cheering for each brother respectively. And as Jesse leaps to his feet and turns to me with a large smile, only one thought rings true through my head.
I think I’ve already found him.
26JESSE
BILLINGS
can’t find my lucky charm
I findmyself checking my phone to see if Faith is on her way yet. We had left the ranch at the same time, but she stopped in town to check in at her hotel despite my protests and insisting she just come back to Aspen Creek with me. She claimed the two days she spent there were enough and she didn’t want to overstay her welcome, but little does she know it’d be impossible for her to do so. Or maybe she does know and she’s just choosing to ignore it, I don’t know.
Either way, it’s been two hours since we got to town, and she’s still not here.
“How’d it go?” Kai asks, plopping down on the bench beside me.
“How’d what go?”
He gives me an incredulous look. “Faith staying with you on the ranch.” My brows shoot up in surprise. “You really thought she wasn’t going to tell me?”
“I knew you were friends, but didn’t realize you were that close.” And for the first time, that knowledge doesn’t make me envious. “It was good. She and Stevie became, like, instant friends, which was odd, but they already have plans together, so there’s that. Addie likes her, and they got along well, too. She didn’t have a chance to talk to Nash much—he got called to pick up some horses that needed breaking and doesn’t trust any of the ranch hands with the checkbook.”
“Mhm.” He studies me with an unreadable expression on his face. “So, she met your family.” I nod slowly. “Any particular reason?”
It dawns on me that she never told him what was going on with us. I mean, I know she said she didn’t want anyone knowing, but I guess part of me assumed she’d have told somebody by now. I know I ended up telling Colt—one of our ranch hands Faith will most likely never meet and definitely has zero connections in common with.
“Nope.”
He looks like he wants to push for more information, appears desperate to know what’s going on, but I suddenly spot Dean walking toward us—most likely heading to the stalls with the bulls—and flag him down. Kai grumbles under his breath, but I ignore him as Dean stops in front of us.
“What’s going on?”
“I might have some good news for you.” He just stares at me, not prompting for more information or showing any interest, so I clear my throat and continue. “There’s an opening for a veterinarian on my family’s ranch. I wanted to extend you the offer since I know you want to get away from all this.”
Dean simply nods. “What would that entail?”
“Well, we have a shit ton of cattle and a little over two dozen horses. Too many chickens, a few goats, and a llama that my mother begged my father to get. We also have aboutsix dogs running around. The biggest thing though is my sister is desperate for someone to help her barrel racing horse. He sustained a suspensory ligament injury, and the last vet that came through was trying to tell her to put him down.”
Finally showing some emotion, a deep frown appears on Dean’s face. “What the hell? For a ligament injury? Those are definitely rehabable if you put in the work.”
“Would you be willing to?”
