Page 24 of Chasing After You
Oliver shook his head gently, eyes returning to the open sky above us. “It’s okay. I don’t expect people to remember something like that. It’s just a bit hard to deal with when my partners don’t understand grief. I don’t hold it against them, it’s not their fault that their brains are wired differently. But that still doesn’t make it any easier.”
I rested my hands on my knees, unsure of what to say. The silence stretched for a few seconds before Oliver spoke again.
“She used to say the sky always looked different when someone you loved wasn’t under it anymore.” He gave a soft, hollow laugh. “I used to think it was poetic. Now I just think it’s true. And it’s not even like… I don’t know, Josh. I’m not sure how to feel. Selling the shop really did help. Made it feel like that part of her was finally buried, you know? And it’s not like I’m out here sobbing, I’ve been past that for a long time now, but I don’t know if the grief will ever actually go away. It doesn’t hurt the same anymore, but it just feels… ugh, I don’t know. Sometimes I think life would be easier as a psychopath.”
“Maybe.”
He sighed, “Sorry.”
I frowned. “Don’t apologize. There’s nothing wrong with being sad, or grieving, or feeling. I wouldn’t like it very much if you were a psychopath anyway,” I tried to joke.
“Yeah, me neither,” he laughed. “Well, how was your morning, then? Any work drama? Gossip? Entertain me, please.”
I swallowed, trying to breathe past the sudden pressure in my throat. “I brought something with me. Something I… need to talk to you about.” I hesitated, then pulled the folded letter from my pocket and held it out.
Oliver turned his head again, studying it with tired yet curious eyes. “What’s that?”
“It’s from Dorian,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
His brows lifted slightly. “Dorian?As in—”
“As inhim.” I nodded. “He left it at the cafe for me to find.”
Oliver sat up carefully, as if the weight of his emotions had settled into his bones, anchoring him to the ground. He accepted the letter and unfolded it, eyes scanning the lines. I watched his expression shift—brows furrowing, lips pressing into a tight line. When he finished, he lowered it to his lap and looked over at me.
“Wow,” he said quietly. “How do you feel about this?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know how I feel. I had an anxiety attack from just seeing it on the counter. Kellie was there, thankfully, so I took it out to my car to read. I’m confused by it. I don’t know if he’s serious or not, or if this is part of his revenge. I don’t know what to do, man.”
He nodded slowly. “That’s hard.”
I dropped my gaze to the grass. “He wants to be a family again? Do you think that maybe… maybe he does want that? I want to believe it. I do. But I’m sorta terrified that if I take it seriously, he’ll laugh in my face and say how stupid I am for thinking he missed me. I don’t think I could handle that.”
“I don’t think you’ll know for sure what he means unless you talk to him. But is that something you even want to try?” Oliver asked patiently.
I sighed wistfully, “Part of me does. Of course, I want to talk to him. I’ve never stopped wondering about him. But I’m so damn scared of what it’ll feel like to see him. Of what I might still feel. Of what he’ll see when he looks at me. Just…everything. What if he really does hate me? What if he tries to hurt me?”
Oliver was quiet for a moment, a contemplative look on his face, before reaching over and resting a hand on my arm. “Loss does weird things to people. Sometimes, we lose people by accident. Sometimes we choose to let them go because we’re scared. But Josh…” His voice softened. “Sometimes people comeback, and you have to find a way forward. Either with or without them.”
I looked at him, eyes burning. “What am I supposed to do?”
“I can’t answer that for you,” he said. “But whatever happens, I’ll be there for you, okay? If you need someone to be with you when you talk to him, I can do that. You would for me.”
I nodded, swallowing back the wave of emotion swelling in my throat.
“Thanks, Ollie.”
He smiled faintly. “Anytime. So, did he leave any contact information or anything?”
My brows furrowed as I answered, “No, just this letter. But he obviously knows where I work. I get the feeling he knows a lot about me, and I know nothing about him. I don’t even know if I’d recognize him. It’s been so long, and he was just starting puberty when I left.”
“Hmm,” Oliver hummed. “Let’s go inside and talk to my guys. Maybe they can help.” He began to stand, brushing off a few blades of grass that had stuck on his butt.
I stood as well and followed Oliver toward the house, heart pounding. Dorian’s name echoed in my head. I wasn’t sure what to expect from Hayes and Hudson.
The kitchen was warm and sunlit when we entered, the smell of coffee still lingering in the air. Hayes was perched on a stool at the island, scrolling on his laptop with a frown, while Hudson leaned against the counter, eating a cold slice of leftover cheese pizza.
That may have been the most psychopathic thing I’d seen him do.
