Page 90 of Saving Summer
His fingers tightened. “Always.”
“What about sex?”
His grin made her pussy clench. “I like to fuck hard, baby girl. Whenever we’re in the same room together, I want to drill you against every surface. I want to bury myself to the nuts inside your wet pussy and then put you on your knees so I can fuck your mouth. I want to bend you over the bathroom counter and fill your ass with my come. I want to fuck you so good; you’ll have a hard time remembering anybody’s cock but mine. I won’t ever take what you don’t consent to give, Summer, but if you give your permission, I’ll use your body how I want, when I want, and you’ll get a great deal of pleasure out of it, but you have to choose it.”
Oh God! Her internal temperature shot up to a thousand degrees. She wanted him. Wanted him to fuck her in all the ways he described and more. But she had no experience. What if she wasn’t able? What if he was too much? What if he needed more than she could give? She’d kept a tight lid on her wants, her dreams, her desires for years. She wasn’t positive she had it in her to give up control, to him or to anybody. “Do I have to choose right now?”
“About us being friends or lovers?” She nodded, and he shook his head. “No. One way or another, I’m yours, and Halia is ours. Whatever decision you make when it comes to a sexual relationship, I’ll respect. But the decision about whether we stay with the JTT will have to be made soon.”
“What do you want to do?”
“It’s not about what I want. It’s about what’s best for you and Halia.”
“Jamie, this is your family. Your home. The JTT is a part of who you are. And if we’re doing this together, then what’s best for you also needs to be considered.”
“You’re what’s best for me. Keeping you safe—keeping Halia safe—nothing else matters.”
“But stay or go…you believe you’ll have to fight, right?” He nodded, and a vicious spike of fear shot straight through her ribs to her heart. Oh God, if anything ever happened to him. If he died trying to protect her. Trying to protect Halia.
No. No. No!They couldn’t lose him. She couldn’t be left alone in a world gone mad with a baby to protect. She wasn’t strong enough. Didn’t have what it would take to keep them alive. “Can I ask you one more question?”
“You can ask me a thousand questions and a thousand more. If I have the answer, I’ll give it. If I don’t, I’ll find it. If I can’t find it, I’ll let you know, and we’ll figure something out together.”
Despite the seriousness of the situation, Jamie’s direct way of communicating offered her the reassurance she needed. He may be bossy, possessive, and demanding, but he’d never lie to her. When he said she and Halia came first, she believed him.
But what if?
Jeez, she hated those two little words. Nothing ever good came from them being combined. But what if something terrible—something unthinkable—happened to Jamie? What if he was hurt, or worse, and she was left alone with a baby to care for? What then? She couldn’t let anything happen to Halia. She was the future.
Her vision blurred, the welling moisture making it impossible to see. “If something ever happened to you, and you weren’t here to protect us, where would you want us to be?”
He didn’t take offense at the question, and he didn’t hesitate for a moment. “With Adam and the rest of the JTT.”
She nodded, and her tears spilled over. “Then I say we stay.”
* * *
Even with thetears rolling down Summer’s face, Jamie felt an immense sense of relief at the decision they’d made. With the threat of Dominion hanging over their heads, staying with the JTT was the safest, smartest choice they could have made.
With a baby and a fierce little pixie to protect, he needed his team.
Now more than ever.
But he’d meant what he said. They had to make the choice together.
He reached up to brush the tears from her cheeks, but she beat him to it. “I’m sorry,” she said, wiping her fingers roughly over her wet skin. “I shouldn’t be crying. It’s just…I…the thought of you. Or Halia…”
He understood.
Understood because he felt the same fucking way, and it shook him to his core. The most important people in the world were in this room. In this house. And he would doanythingto keep them safe. If that meant sacrificing himself—so be it.
He took her trembling hand and pressed it to his chest, hoping the steady feel of his heartbeat would help to calm her. “Don’t ever apologize for showing me how you feel. If you need to cry—cry—bottling up our emotions won’t help. We need to be open and honest if we’re going to make this work.”
She sniffed and dropped her gaze to her lap. “I’m scared.”
Nope. He wasn’t about to let her stop fighting now. Finger under her chin, he lifted her head and waited until she looked him in the eyes. “It’s normal to be scared, baby. I’m scared too. But we have each other, we have Halia, and we have the JTT. Doesn’t get any better than that.”
Her spine straightened, and she grinned before backhanding him across the bicep. “I told you we’re a family.”
