Page 52 of Take Me to Church
Christian chuckles again, his voice warm and rich. “Fair enough.” One of his hands flattens against my belly before sliding lower to tease along the waistband of my panties. “Then I’ll ask a question I don’t know the answer to.” He pushes into the soft cotton. “Are you wet for me?”
It’s another question I don’t answer. Before I even have a chance, Christian slides his fingers between my legs, slicking along my folds, the glide of his skin against mine offering up the answer he’s seeking. My knees buckle as he brushes my clit, but I don’t come close to falling. He bands one arm tight around my middle, pinning me against him as he continues proving just how inadequate my imagination is.
“Youarewet.” He presses deeper, moving closer to my core before teasing at the opening of my body. “Is this what happened when you thought of me, Lydia? Did your pussy get wet and aching?”
I can’t bring myself to sayyes. Can’t admit something I’ve been taught to be ashamed of even though I know it’s all bullshit.
Thankfully, Christian doesn’t seem to expect me to answer. His smooth, seductive voice keeps whispering in my ear as his fingers glide against me. “I bet you did, didn’t you? You laid there at night thinking of me. Believing it would be a sin to touch yourself.” The pressure against my core increases and a second later one of his fingers dips inside me, making me gasp. “Fuck, you’re tight.” Christian groans as the finger he has impaled in my body slides free before easing back in. “And so goddamn wet for me.”
The feel of being penetrated is completely foreign, but not unpleasant. It doesn’t carry the same zing of sensation I get when he touches my clit, but maybe I can see how being filled like this might be just as satisfying.
Not that satisfaction is necessarily all I’m looking for tonight. Tonight I want more from him.
Going back to Mountain Oak made me realize I might have gotten away, but I’m nowhere near free. And knowing a part of what they put on me still lingers makes me sick.
“Christian.” I gasp as his finger drives into me again, offering a taste of what I’m about to propose. “I want you.”
Christian stops moving, his big body going completely still. So still, I’m not sure he’s even breathing. “I don’t think I heard you right.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, skin heating at the thought of having to say it again. “I want to have sex.” I nearly choke on the word but manage to keep going. “With you.” I try to suck in a breath and fail. “Right now.”
Purity was one of the most important pieces of the foundation my old life was built upon and there’s no way to tear that house down with it in place, so I want it gone. I want to be completely free from every rule and limitation they gave me.
Christian’s hand slips from my body, sliding free of my panties, leaving me feeling empty and embarrassed.
And sends me falling back on my old ways. “I’m sorry. I thought—”
“You thought I just wanted to fuck you?” There’s a surprising amount of sharpness in his voice and it spins me around to face him.
“No.” I meet his hard gaze. “That’s not what I thought at all.” I don’t know exactly how to explain everything tonight made me realize. “I just—” I sniff as humiliation starts to sink in. “I don’t want to be anything like they wanted me to be.” They could have caught me. Kept me locked up the same way they did Myra. Tried to break me so my father could marry me off to a man who would rut against me like I was nothing but a warm hole for him to use as he pleased. “And you’re the only person I trust to help me do that.”
Christian backs away from me, easing down onto the couch, his dark eyes watching me intently. “You make it sound like I’d be doing you a favor.”
If that’s how he wants to look at it. “You would.”
Christian is silent for a second before he slowly shakes his head. “Fucking isn’t a favor, Lydia.” He leans forward, bracing his elbows on his knees, gaze so intense it makes me want to squirm. “If you fuck me it’s going to be because you can’t stand not to.”
It’s not far off from how I feel now. Between the still throbbing ache left from his skilled fingers and the desperate need for liberation, I feel like I’m on the edge. “Then let’s do it.”
Christian huffs out a breath that almost sounds amused as he leans back again, draping one long arm over the back of the sofa. “I’ll make you a deal.” He relaxes against the cushions, looking a little too certain he knows how this is going to go. “If you make it happen, you can do whatever you want to me.”
20
CHRISTIAN
I DON'T EXPECT to see Lydia again tonight. When her eyes widened and she rushed from the room, I knew I'd done the right thing. As much as I might want everything she's offering, she’s simply not ready.
I scrub one hand down my face and shove the other past the elastic of my underwear to adjust my still raging hard-on. I was just drifting off to sleep when she crept into my office, and now I'm too restless to consider lying back down.
I could continue to stare at the ceiling with an aching cock, or I can actually make good use of the time and do something productive. I lean forward, planning to go to my desk and get a little work done, get my mind off of what didn’t happen, while I wait for dawn.
"Where are you going?"
I glance up to find Lydia standing in the still open doorway of my office, eyes filled with uncertainty.
An uncertainty I now share.
"Nowhere." I lean back, attempting to look more relaxed than I am. "I wasn't expecting you to come back."
