Page 51 of Cowboy of Convenience
"I get a spray tan every six days. Without it I look old." Gram-Gram shifted on her feet, assuming a pose similar to one Evelyn coached them through that morning. "You're more than welcome to stay and watch, but the color I use is specially formulated for my skin tone, so don't expect to get one of your own."
Grady rubbed one hand over his mouth, trying to disguise the smile working across his lips. He was sure as hell getting a lot of bang for his buck with this whole thing. If a mostly naked Gram-Gram wearing elastic napkins and a hairnet didn't make him forget all the shit happening in his life, nothing would.
Grady looped one arm around Evelyn's shoulders. "Take your time. Don't want anyone to think you're a day over seventy."
Gram-Gram worked her jaw from side to side as Bernard airbrushed the inside of one thigh. "I've been told I don't look a day over sixty."
Grady opened his mouth, ready to ask Gram-Gram how long ago that was, but Evelyn planted both her hands in the center of his chest, shoving him down the hallway. "We just came to tell you we brought back dinner. Enjoy getting your tan." She slammed the door and continued pushing him toward the kitchen. "Go."
Grady leaned closer, lowering his voice since Evelyn obviously didn’t want him to continue poking the beast for now. "Who told Gram-Gram she didn't look a day over sixty?"
Sure, Evelyn's grandmother clearly worked hard to keep herself up. And sure, she wore expensive clothes and jewelry. But the woman didn't look under sixty. Not by any stretch of anyone's imagination.
"Everyone tells her that because they don't want her to ruin their lives." Evelyn gave him one final push, bumping him into the small kitchen.
"Sweetheart, I'm not scared of Gram-Gram. She can't ruin my life." There was nothing to ruin at this point. Everything was going down the shitter all on its own.
"You’d be surprised what she's capable of." Evelyn went to the kitchen table, tearing open the stapled bags a little more aggressively than the situation warranted.
"Is that what you're worried about? Her ruining your life?" Evelyn was scared of the scrawny woman down the hall. He’d seen it from the beginning, but he was having a hard time figuring out exactly what power she held. “She can’t make you marry someone like Sasha, Ev. That shit ended centuries ago.” Grady decided to try to lighten the mood. “And if she does, I’ll pop the stick out of his ass and beat him with it.”
Evelyn’s expression shifted, a hint of a smile teasing across her lips. “That’s probably why my grandmother thought he was such a good catch. They have matching sticks.”
“Then maybe they should get together.” Grady reached out, pulling her close even though no one was there to witness it. “They can have sword fights with them.”
Evelyn laughed again. “Gross.”
He stayed close, unable to pull himself away from her. “Not as gross as the sight of Gram-Gram in that paper bikini.”
“Ew.” Evelyn’s voice lowered to a whisper, eyes widening. “It looked like she has a Brazilian wax.”
“Didn’t notice that, but thanks for pointing it out.” Grady slid his hands down to palm her ass. “I’m pretty sure I’m going to have nightmares now.”
“Are we eating or not?” Gram-Gram breezed into the kitchen, reeking of chemicals and audacity as she stopped to scan the food spread across the table. “I have to dry for ten minutes so I might as well eat while I wait.”
Evelyn sidestepped out of her grandmother’s way and out of his grip. “You’re going to eat like that?”
Gram-Gram leaned over the table to open the container of mixed vegetables, the G-string cut of her bikini bottom cutting up the flat crack of her ass. “I assumed you would want me to make myself comfortable.” She straightened, challenging glare focused on Grady. “So I am.”
Damn. This woman was good. Whatever game she was playing, Gram-Gram was fully committed to it.
Which made him think this was about more than just wanting Evelyn to move back to New York.
"Of course we want you to make yourself at home, Gram-Gram." Grady went to the cabinet and pulled out a plate, bringing it over and passing it off to Evelyn's grandmother. "Our home is your home."
"Of course it is." Gram-Gram scooped a small amount of vegetables onto her plate, turning her nose up at the rice before spinning to face them. "How was your day?" She turned to Evelyn. "I assume you enjoyed riding around aimlessly on the back of an animal?"
"Of course." Evelyn hooked her arm through his, resting her head against his shoulder as she lied through her teeth about their day. "It's so peaceful out there." She straightened, expression brightening. "You should come with us next time."
Grady almost snorted. There was no way that woman was getting on the back of a—
"I think I might." Gram-Gram stabbed her fork into a chunk of carrot, taking a bite off one corner of the large piece. "I've heard fresh air can be invigorating for the circulatory system."
Grady stared at the scrawny woman standing in the center of the kitchen wearing nothing but a paper bikini and a heightened sense of self-importance. "Are you sure? It's a pretty physical activity."
Gram-Gram leveled her gaze at him. "If you can do it, I certainly can." She took another bite of carrot. "Given how much you struggled through this morning's class, I can’t imagine it requires that much physical ability."
He had to give it to her. Gram-Gram was a worthy opponent. The woman was doing everything in her power to make him fold. Or at least make him lash out at her in a way she could use as leverage when arguing Evelyn would be better off in New York. And he sure as hell wasn't giving her any leverage. Especially since he was pretty sure she had millions of things to use against Evelyn as it was.
