Page 49 of Tear Me to Pieces
His eyes barely narrow on me. “You’re proposing we make a baby?” His head barely cocks. “Together?”
I nod as a spear of heat stabs through my belly, shooting like a lightning bolt straight to my clit. Every inch of me throbs at the deepness of his voice. The low way he saystogether.
Because now all I’m thinking about is what we’d have to do—together—to fulfill my suggestion.
And maybe I thought about that all day too.
I’m not sure where I stand on a relationship, but I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt I want to be a mom. I thought it might be another dream lost to me, but maybe it doesn’t have to be.
Maybe Simon and I can make each other’s dreams come true.
He’s already pushed me into tackling one of the main issues I’ve been avoiding—my house. Simon’s well into finishing off the main part of my first floor, and has plans to take care of the remaining half bath and dining room. I’m sure it wouldn’t be a tough sell to get him to help me with the upstairs. Honestly, all we’d need would be flooring and to finish one of the other bedrooms. The rest could wait until our baby was on the move.
Our baby.
I press a hand to my stomach, trying to soothe the butterflies that only seem to take flight when Simon’s around.
The motion drags his dark gaze down my front to rest on where my hand is spread across my belly. Right where a baby would grow. He stares, hard, as he steps closer, closing the gap between us.
“Why do you want to have a baby with me, My?” His question is soft and rumbly between us, and I feel it all the way to my toes.
“Lots of reasons.” I lick my lips, trying to find a little moisture in my suddenly dry mouth. I thought I was prepared for this conversation, but it’s not going the way I expected. I foolishly believed Simon would just agree. I wasn’t expecting questions. Didn’t think I’d have to dig into—admit—the bits and pieces of the equation I’ve been holding close.
So close I won’t notice they’re there.
“Give them to me.” His tone is gentle and demanding at the same time. A contradiction that he embodies perfectly.
“Well…” There are so many things I’ve never experienced, many of them centered around what Simon’s asking of me now—communication. I don’t have much practice at it since, until recently, my thoughts and opinions were irrelevant and unwanted. But I want to do my best for him. Show him I can be as good of a partner in this venture as I know he will be.
“You’re kind and caring.” It’s not lost on me that I’m about to show just how much attention I’ve been paying to him, but I’ve already started, so I continue on. “Thoughtful and a good listener.” Pressing my lips together, I switch gears. “You’re a hard worker and motivated and determined.”
I thought those last few would sound better. Less like a list I might have for a romantic interest and more like the criteria I have for a potential father to my children. It still comes outfeeling oddly personal. But picking a parenting partner should be personal, right?
Simon is silent for a very long time, and the excitement I felt over what I thought would be an easyyesstarts to dissipate, leaving an aching sadness and dread in its wake.
He’s going to say no. Shut me down. Close off the only viable pathway I see to motherhood.
And now I’ve made it weird between us. Strange enough he might not even want to be my friend anymore, let alone the father of my children.
Shit.
I start to shrink, anticipating the rejection I know is coming. Preparing to be told—yet again—how foolish I am. How silly and stupid I can be.
I never wanted to hear those things again, and expecting them to come from Simon makes the dread digging through my guts even worse.
“It was a stupid idea. Pretend I never brought it up.” I can’t look at him anymore. Can’t believe I came all this way—figuratively and literally—to end up right back where I started.
Asking a man for what I want.
Dropping my eyes, I start to take a step back, needing space.
But my body barely shifts before a wide palm spreads across my spine, stopping my retreat. Simon’s free hand comes up to pinch my chin, his touch firm but careful as he tips my head back until our eyes meet again.
“It’s not a stupid idea, My.” The pressure on my back increases, bringing my body closer to his. “It’s just a lot to take in.” His thumb slides across my skin, smoothing over the spot just beneath my lower lip. “And I want to be sure you understand what you’re asking me.”
“I’m asking you to have a baby with me.” I thought I made that pretty clear.
“You’re asking me to fuck you.” Simon’s words are blunt.
