Page 68 of Rookie Season
We stand there for a moment, staring at each other, my heart drumming against my ribcage, and before I lose my nerve, or overthink it, I push open my bedroom door and nod my head towards it. “Want to come in?”
His expression turns molten. “I do.”
Noah glances down the hallway—likely to check that Penn and Fisher have definitely made themselves scarce—before he crosses into my room in two long strides.
My heart picks up even more speed as I step back tomake space for him to come in, and he shuts the door behind him.
He’s inside my bedroom.
“I thought they’d never leave,” he says with a smile as his gaze drops to my mouth.
I’m suddenly so nervous, so full of adrenaline from the wait and want from all of his teasing, that I rise up on my tiptoes and silence anything else he was about to say by crushing my lips to his.
A half-agonized sound rips from his throat, and he wastes no time in responding, his hands moving to cup my face as his body presses against mine. He steps forward, backing me into the door. As my back hits the hard surface, the light stubble on Noah’s jaw scrapes over the sensitive skin of my mouth and chin, sending shockwaves through me as he tilts his head and opens his mouth over mine, his tongue moving over my bottom lip before dipping into my mouth to taste me.
My hands scramble for purchase on his shoulders, tightening there as I hold on to him for dear life, all of my nerves melting asIdissolve into a puddle of desire, all coherent thought disappearing at his touch.
“Ally,” Noah hisses against my mouth between kisses, fingertips sliding further back on my jawline and then digging into my hair. “Do you know how many times I’ve thought about doing this?”
His lips move to kiss the sensitive skin where my jawbone meets my neck before he gently drags his mouth along the column of my neck, lightly grazing it with his teeth in a way that makes my entire body erupt in shivers before he presses a hot, openmouthed kiss to my collarbone. “Do you know how many times I’vedreamedabout doingthis? Fantasized about what you tasted like, what sounds you’d make when I kissed you?”
In response, I moan again, my hands weaving into his hair, twisting there as I attempt to drag his head back down so his lips can claim mine again.
He smiles, brushing his lips over mine, featherlight. “You want me to kiss you again?”
I nod, unable to speak, and he delivers, his hands sliding under my thighs to lift me up so I’m in his arms as he kisses me again until my head spins. He tastes like his peppermint gum, his mouth cool and his lips warm and the smell of his sandalwood cologne tantalizing my nose as I wrap my legs around his waist and he carries me across the room to my bed.
But instead of laying me down and crawling on top of me, he sits on the edge, setting me down gently in his lap and wrapping his arms around me almost protectively.
“I can hardly believe this is actually happening right now,” he says in a low, raspy voice as he presses his lips to mine. Softer this time, sweeter. His fingers curl into the material of his jersey, twisting at my sides. “Do you know how crazy you were making me all night, sitting there next to me wearingthese little pink shorts?”
His voice wavers a little as he pulls back, gentle brown eyes finding mine. “You’re so damn beautiful, Ally,” he whispers, and with those five little words and his steady, loving, yet heated gaze, my entire world feels like it’s about to fall apart.
Before that awful night, Tyler used to look at me in a way that made me feel sexy. Hot.
The night he assaulted me, put his hands on me without my consent, his blue eyes were cold as ice. Unfeeling anddevoid of any emotion but utter disgust. Like he wanted me, but I was nothing. Worthless.
But right now, in the midst of his want and desire for me, Noah is looking up at me in a way that makes me feel like I’m the center of his entire universe, something precious to be cherished and loved and cared for.
And it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
He leans in to kiss me again, and as I respond, I feel hot tears dripping down my cheeks before I even realize I’m crying.
Noah pulls back, and when he sees my tears, his needy, heated expression immediately turns to one of panic. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
I don’t have a chance to respond before he removes me from his lap in one swift motion, placing me on the bed next to him oh-so-carefully, giving me some space.
Noah’s hands reach for my arms, gently smoothing down the length of them as his tone turns urgent. “Was I going too fast or something?” He blinks a few times. “Shit. There’s no rush or pressure to do anything at all, you know that right? We can take our time. We don’t need to do anything tonight, or ever, if that’s what you want. It’s always about what you want, and I promise I wasn’t—I would never—expect anything from you or?—”
“You did nothing wrong,” I cut off his blabbering with a hiccup, swiping away my tears in embarrassment. This was meant to be my moment, my redemption arc as I reclaimed my sexuality, owned my own desires again—and instead, I end up blubbering like a baby because a boy called me beautiful and looked at me like I was something precious. I hang my head, my voice barely above a whisper as I add, “You were perfect.”
Noah’s brows crease together. “Then why are you crying, Ally?”
The concern in his voice has my insides unraveling, pulling at a string of misery and shame and self-loathing.
Because I know I have to tell him.
I thought I could pretend. But I like and respect Noah too much to use him as some kind of sexual guinea pig or whatever.
