Page 57 of Rock Bottom
My time with him hadn’t been bad, exactly. If I’m honest, I’d loved it. Complete and total power exchange, so he made all decisions, and all I had to do was follow orders and obey. It was a luxury, being that seen. That wanted. Thatowned.
But then I’d had an offer to go on the road with someone, and Laurent said I couldn’t.
I’d trusted him to make the best decisions for me, and I knew in my heart, in my soul, he wasn’t doing that. Now, in retrospect, I realize he was making the best decision for us, so we’d stay together, which I suppose he rationalized was the best choice for me, his slave, but he made the wrong decision, so I packed a suitcase while he was at work and left. I didn’t just disobey him, I literally walked out. Abandoned him.
He’d shipped the things I didn’t pack to Benji, which was a shit move, making my brother see the special-made cock cages, but I guess Laurent needed the final word, or maybe it was just his way of cleansing me from his house. His life.
In the end, that tour was what eventually put me on Will’s radar, so I’d been right about leaving Laurent and going on the road.
If Laurent had let me go, I’d have come home to him. We’d probably still be together, and it broke my heart a little that we can never be what we were again. I broke the magical spell that made us Master and slave for real when I disobeyed and walked out of his life. We can never go back.
Did he regret not letting me go, so I could return to him?
I took a shower, thinking I could rinse him from my thoughts, but it didn’t work.
I’d seen him a while back at aGirls’ Night Outthing, and he’d told me he has the same email and phone number. I looked in my contacts, found him, and texted,It’s probably silly for me to still need some closure, but you cut me off so completely when I left to go on tour, I think it might be healthy for us to talk, if you’re open to it.
It seemed the best way to deal with it at the time. You needed space to figure out how to be your own person again,and that wasn’t going to happen if I was still in your life. Do you want to meet for lunch?
I couldn’t explain I’m in danger and can’t do that, so I lied. Or rather, fibbed, since Homewood technically isn’t in Chattanooga.I’m not in town, I’m visiting friends. I have the morning to myself and you were on my mind.
My phone made the noise for a video call request, and I answered with a smile. “Only way to know which version of me you’re talking to?”
He nodded. “Of course, but I’m not sure what to do with fresh-out-of-the-shower Jules.” His head tilted, assessing. “I’m thinking this is the version that’s a little of both.”
I shrugged. “I worked out and showered. I’m justmeright now. You aren’t working today?”
Laurent’s an attorney, and he was shirtless with blue sky showing in the background. Not at all like him at two o’clock on a weekday. I’d expected he’d text back between appointments and maybe we could talk this evening. I glanced at my window and realized the weather must’ve broken while I worked out, because the sun was shining here, too.
“I had court this morning and the day ended early. I didn’t have any afternoon appointments, so I decided to call it a day.” He panned the phone and explained what I was looking at. “I put this patio in last month, and now I’m building a fire pit, putting in some smart lighting, and redoing the speaker system out here.”
He’d changed his hair, not as close-cropped but still far from long, with enough on top to actually move a little in the breeze, and it suited him. I didn’t want him anymore, though. I mean, sure, the stubble on his face was sexy, defining that rigid jaw, carved in granite, but he was my past.
After a little more small talk, he asked what was on my mind, and I told him, “I trusted you to make the best decisions for me, for everything — my body, my life, my career — and for the longest, I was mad because I thought you made the best decision for you. I’m beginning to understand that maybe you thought you were making the best decision for us? It was still the wrong decision, but I guess it’s easier to stomach, if that’s the case.”
“Your place was beside your Master. I was upfront with you from the start that I wanted a full-time slave, someone who was home and waiting for me every evening when I came home. I let you play local venues a whole lot, and even regional ones more than I cared for, but to have you gone for months?” He shrugged. “Not the kind of slave I was looking for.”
He glanced at the house and looked back to the phone. “I have three slaves, now. Two of them live with me full time. I sent them into the house to handle some tasks before I called you. The third is kind of new to us. If he works out, he’ll move in and I’ll have three slaves. One of the slaves who lives with me is a paralegal, and he works for me, so he gets huge doses of me. The other keeps the house clean and feeds us, takes care of our laundry, cleans the bathrooms, changes the sheets. The third is recently out of the military, and he’s working as a barista right now. If he moves in, he’ll quit his job and I’ll pay for him to take the PI classes and get licensed, so he can follow people around and take pictures for me.”
Right. I’d done that for him, too. Someone who says they’re injured, and then I’d get pictures of them working out and mowing the yard, showing they’re lying their ass off. I’d read some books, taken the test, and that was it for the license.
“If you’d have let me go, I’d have come back to you, and now I guess I’d be one of your little harem, when I’m in town and not touring.”
“I loved you, and you discarded me, trashed everything we’d built. It took a while for me to trust someone not to leave me again.” He shrugged. “And maybe I’m not there yet, which is why I never have less than two or three full-time slaves, now. When one leaves, I never find myself alone.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you, but I’m not sorry I left. That tour was what put me on Lord Byron’s radar. It was the stepping-stone to my dream gig.”
“And I’m happy for you, even if I’m still pissed that you left.”
“I get it. I promised to let you make all decisions, but in my eyes, you promised to make the best decisions for me — for my health and well-being — and I knew in my heart you weren’t doing that. I guess, in the end, we both broke promises.”
“I promised to make the best decisions for my slave. Letting you go would’ve meant you were no longer my slave.”
His words were like a punch to the gut, but I’m pretty sure I kept my face composed, so he didn’t see the effect his words had on me, and I told him, “I guess I didn’t understand what you were actually promising, then.”
“And I thought your little music thing was just a hobby. I never saw it as a career, but in reality, how many people end up with the kind of gig you stumbled into? You got lucky, and I’m happy for you, but I never saw it as more than a hobby. You were barely paying the most basic of bills when we met.”
“But I was happy with my life. I was happier belonging to you, but now? I have my dream job. Mythic Beast is my family, along with Benji.”
