Page 39 of A Shimla Affair
‘They can’t. That’s it, there is no other option. Nalini, you must make sure that they don’t. Bring in Nayler and make sure that he lets our wagons pass. He trusts you. This cannot fail. You know the risk.’
I knew the risks, but it had never felt so real as it did now. I found myself eager and anxious to be up to the task. It felt like I must perform and act my role and the pressure excited me. My stomach twisted in nervousness at the thought of standing in front of all the guards, waiting to get the wagon checked. As if I was eight years old all over again, trying to hide my unfinished homework from our governess, hoping that I would somehow get lucky, and she wouldn’t call me out.
It made me feel like I was on the centre of a stage, a huge spotlight, a thousand people calling my name. The present was so real, so urgent that anything else paled in comparison. When the time arrived, determination seized me and I was bent on cheating the system—ready to sneak the ammunition through the boundaries, right under the guards’ noses.
It was uncannily hot for Shimla and I felt sweat soak through my cotton sari as I paced up the dusty road. My stomach was twisted in knots, but I was eager to prove what I was capable of. When Charles arrived, he gave me a smile that made my heart skip a little. The border guards greeted him with full attention and turned to me curiously. I smiled at Charles, and then at the guards.
‘How are you?’ Charles asked, and listening to him made me as breathless and stupid as ever. His voice was full of warmth, care and laughter, just hearing him talk made me want to jump up and fling my arms around him. Even in this numbing heat, and dressed in his heavy uniform, his smile was wide and ready to take on the world. I realized I was staring at him speechless for a few seconds, so I turned my head to the wagons, trying to sound slightly irritated and worried.
‘Charles, I am sorry to ask you for this favour, but look at the queues! Ever since the riots, and I heard some important delegation is to arrive from London, the security is very tight.’
He held up his hand, ‘Don’t even mention it. I’ll do a quick check on my own and then you’ll be free to go.’
I nodded at him in gratitude.
On Charles’ cue, a guard moved to bring our wagons up the queue and to the barricades. Another worry struck me. Charleswas not stupid, in fact, he was cleverer than most. Perhaps the guards could have still been fooled, pressured as they were to process the long queues, but Charles …
I turned to him, hoping to engage him in talk that would distract him.
‘How are things looking, with the War going on?’ The thought of the War always ran like poison through my skin—why should we Indians be embroiled in a European war? Yet Charles had nothing to do with it, he must be worried about his home, his family, his town.
Charles shook his head, the very mention of the war stressing him out. ‘We have felt better ever since Churchill came on, but now that Paris has fallen—’
He didn’t need to finish the sentence for me.
‘And your family?’
‘My brother Rob … he was called up for the service some days ago. He is just twenty, rather well-behaved and so innocent. He was proud to go. He wanted to follow my example, you know.’
I heard the pain in his voice and felt it in my being. I wanted to reach out to him and tell him that I know what it’s like to fear for a sibling—the ones we love so fiercely, the ones we swore we would protect. For that second, as I looked into his eyes, I forgot my own terror at being caught. But then, a voice called out ‘Sir’ and I knew the moment of reckoning was here.
The wagons had arrived, and Charles smiled at me before walking over. A turbaned guard opened the doors from the back to reveal a large cloth covering the delivery of food. Charles pulled the sheet off and underneath shone golden mandarins, peaches and berries—all stacked in bundles. He nodded and covered everything back up, moving to the next wagon. I followed him, my mind wrecked with suspense.
The inside of this wagon smelled a lot more pungent and, once the cloth was taken off, it revealed boxes full of cheese, somefresh meat and sacks of flour. Charles took a cursory look inside and turned around to smile at me again. ‘Sorry, it’s just protocol these days.’
I shook my head and swallowed the waves of guilt that threatened to come up. Finally, he popped his head in the third wagon, taking off the cloth. I had just stepped back, breathing in relief when Charles started to shake the wagon from its side.
‘This seems rather heavy,’ he said to no one in particular. ‘I think it’s stuck in something.’
I looked around in alarm; Charles had realized that the wagons weighed much more than the food they appeared to carry. He shook it once again, and my heart jumped to my mouth. If he probed further, he would easily discover that the wagons held ammunition. I began shaking in terror.
I looked around in desperation. From where I stood, I could see the cracks in baseboards, under which lay the guns and the ammunition. If I wanted to live to see another day, I had to stop Charles fast—otherwise he would get the wagon stripped down. He had now started to rummage through the food, it was only a matter of time before he discovered the space beneath the baseboard. There were only seconds to act, and I made up my mind.
With a heave, I collapsed, grazing the side of his body with mine so he would turn around to see. With a rather dramatic thud, I fell on the ground and closed my eyes, praying to the Lord that it would work. I heard Charles call out my name in panic and knew that I had taken his attention away from the wagon.
I felt him sit down next to me on the ground, taking my head in his arms. For a moment, I did feel faint because, nestled in his arms, it was the most relaxed I had felt in days. He softly held my face by the chin, trying to shake me awake, but I knew I had to keep the act on a bit longer, even though it made me sad to causehim worry with my artificial tactics. He called out my name with concern, moving my head gently, trying to nudge me back into consciousness, and it touched me that he seemed to care that much.
‘Nalini, wake up, what’s wrong with her … Nalini …’ His voice rang in my ears and the kindness in it almost made me tell him that there was nothing wrong with me.
When I heard other people gather around us and heard Charles call out for some water, I knew I couldn’t keep up the act much longer. Hopefully, he was sufficiently distracted from the wagon by now.
I opened my eyes slowly and blinked a few times—the faces floating above me felt disorienting for a moment. Charles was asking me if I was fine, and I nodded lightly, trying to get up but he pushed me back into his arms. I could hardly complain about that.
He yelled for a chair to be brought to me and I put my hand up to my forehead.
‘Nalini, are you all right?’
Guilt made me stutter that I was absolutely fine but he didn’t let go of me. I closed my eyes, I knew this would be the only memory I would ever have of being so close to him.
