Page 50 of A Shimla Affair
‘I must go.’
‘Stay,’ he said. How was he to know that, if it were in my hands, I would abandon everything and follow this simple request and live the rest of my life right here? A few seconds went by in silence, and he got up suddenly and walked to his desk. Perhaps what we just did had made my eyes even more biased, because he looked more beautiful than ever—his hair ruffled and his bare shoulders clearly broad and lean. He picked up a file and came back to me, his knees on the ground, and arms around my waist.
‘What did you find out?’ I asked as I quickly opened it.
He sighed. ‘The SSNapier, the boat that sailed from Bombay to Karachi on the day that you had asked me for, was a freighter.’
‘What’s a—’
‘A cargo ship, a ship carrying goods and not passengers. It caught fire that day, exploded and sank before it could make it to Karachi.’
I stared into his eyes, which looked back at me sincerely.
‘But … it appears as if the ship didn’t just catch fire. It was set on fire with explosives, or perhaps there were explosives on the ship that caught fire. They never found out exactly how it happened. There was an inquiry but it was filed away andsnuffed in quite a suspicious manner. But it is now known, quite certainly, that the boat was blasted off.’
It said so in the documents, titled classified.
‘Can I have the file?’
‘No,’ he answered. ‘It’s confidential.’
I stared at him and then attempted to get up. Once again, he stopped me.
‘Was your father on the ship?’ he asked.
I remained quiet.
‘I know you’re hiding things,’ he said, and now it pained me even more to hurt him—what I did, what I was doing and, more than anything, what I was about to do.
‘Despite everything,’ he said, and I assumed he meant what had just passed between us, ‘I will not let it go. Especiallybecauseof everything. You know what kind of man I am. I will not let it go. I want to be with you, for all my life, but you will have to tell me what’s going on.’
I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair. He bent forward and kissed me again.
‘I know what kind of a man you are,’ I said and, with this, I stood up. If he thought that our path to marriage would now be easier, obvious even, he was wrong. I would run away with him the next day and agree to a life of no position in a heartbeat. But would Charles feel the same when he finds out that I, the woman he wanted to marry, would be responsible for the death of the Viceroy?
This time when I walked to the door, he didn’t stop me, merely followed me silently.
‘You said you’re in love with me,’ I said without turning back. I realized my voice was shaking.
‘I wasn’t lying.’
‘Well, if you must know, I am in love with you too. And if the love that we bear for each other means anything to you, if thetime that we spent together so far has brought any happiness to your life,’ I turned towards him, ‘you will not come back to my hotel.’
‘What?’ he looked entirely confused and I did not blame him. Perhaps he had expected that I ask him to let me off, to not question me further, to not tell anyone else what he had found out about me today.
‘You will not come back to the hotel ever again, not even for official duties, not to the ball. You will not set foot inside my hotel from this day on. Remember Charles, you said you loved me. If it is so, then you must respect this. You will not come back to where I live ever again.’
With those parting words, I ran away from his cottage. I didn’t stop until I was halfway up the hill, panting to the welcoming sight of my home.
I entered the lobby to find music playing on the gramophone as guests had their drinks around the sofas. I seemed to have walked into a different world, one where I had imagined everything that had happened with me and Charles. Khushilalji greeted me as I walked past, and I nodded blankly, walking to the dining room where my family sat for their meal.
Noor, Afreen and Ratan Babu all got up from the dining table when they saw me.
‘How was it—’
‘What did he say—’
‘Should we run?!’
