Page 66 of A Shimla Affair
Eons, or perhaps all of history, passed in those seconds. That first day he had come into this very hotel and smiled at me the truest of smiles, touched a part of me that I didn’t even know existed. It’s funny how life makes strangers of lovers, pain out of affection and ultimately, a broken soul out of one that dared to trust. So much had happened and so little too.
‘Nalini, I am warning you—’
I leaned forward and whispered. ‘Charles, I am going to have your child.’
If I had ripped the floor out from beneath him, perhaps he would have been less taken aback. His eyes became big and wide, full of shock and question. His grip fell limp, and the expression on his face could only be described as a plea. If it was a lie, another manipulation, he willed me to tell him. However, in another one of life’s twists of fate, it was not. It was as true as true was ever made, as true as the sun and the moon and the mountain wind.
Charles stepped back and, within seconds Noor and Ratan Babu flanked him on both sides, Khushilalji at the back. Afreen stood beside me, and it was clear now that Charles had lost. He let his gun fall to the ground, his eyes seeking the truth in mine.
‘Is it still true?’ he asked me quietly.Is it still true, now that I don’t have a gun over you any more? Is it still true, now that you have a gun over me again?
I nodded, tears streaming from my eyes, and I didn’t stop nodding. He let himself be tied up again, to be added to our collection of hostages, not resisting, not moving, not speaking. His eyes though, asked me again and again, if what I said was true, and I had to break his heart every time and say yes.
When I was a little girl growing up under the aegis of my two sisters, I tried to find ways to get away from the watchful eye of our governess, onto the big streets of Bombay where people were always moving. So much went on in the world that I knew nothing about, and I imagined my adult life to be somewhere out there, always assumed that what I had back then was just a pale substitute of what was really waiting for me. A house, a husband, adorable children, a world of my own … and in the midst of it all, me, a woman with love, a woman in charge of her own life. Driven by purpose and desire, envied and admired. I had to chuckle a little bit at what fate had in store for me instead: expecting a child out of wedlock, its father threatening to kill me.
I looked at Charles who, tied up again, now stared at me with helplessness and desperation, his eyes hollow and full at the same time. I said a silent prayer for him: he had been nothing but true in this entire affair. I hoped God would spare him more agony, even if it meant Charles would think the worst of me.
Before my sisters had the chance to ask me what I had whispered to make him change his mind, we heard another announcement on the horn, asking us to surrender. More noises outside in the darkness indicated that Lord Ripon’s men had us surrounded entirely, setting up their automatic guns. I wondered if at some point they’d be able to get their tanks up the dirt road leading to the hotel. The lamps flickered in the darkness, and the display of their strength began to intimidate me. Charles sat motionless in a corner, not even gagged, staring at some point in space.
‘Lord Ripon would like to send a message,’ rang out a noise from the loudspeaker.
We positioned ourselves around the windows as a man approached us, his hands in the air in surrender, he dropped a small envelope on the steps leading up to the entrance of thehotel. We watched him leave before Ratan Babu fetched the note.
‘Keep your positions,’Ratan Babu said, reading the note out loud, ‘This is a discreet, one-time offer that we will deny having made if you attempt to expose it. Let all the hostages, starting with the Viceroy, go in the next half an hour. In exchange, we offer you an unlimited amount of money. Give us the number and you shall have it. We will also grant you all your father’s previous assets and holdings, his businesses, as well as Royal Hotel Shimla. If all the hostages are returned safely within the next thirty minutes, each of you will have all this. Accept the offer—there never was a better offer for terrorists in all of history, and there never will be another like this.’
I had to laugh along with the others once Ratan Babu finished reading. It was ridiculous and pitiable, their offer, at what they thought we sought. We always knew money was not the most important thing in the world, but at this moment, it was as useless as if they had offered an unlimited amount of rocks.
Ratan Babu ripped the note and Charles’ voice rang out from the darkness, ‘Take the offer.’
We looked over at him surprised.
‘Take the offer, and run as fast as you can, as far away as possible. They mean this offer, as long as it helps them get the hostages out in time. Afterwards, they will try to chase you, but at least you get this shot. From here on, it will be all downhill.’
What was he playing at now? What did he think of us, after all?
Ratan Babu went up to Charles and tore the paper up, scattering the tiny little pieces in front of him. Charles looked back at him, unflinching.
While the others prepared a reply to send back to Ripon, I led Charles out of the room for a talk, pointing my gun at him as I did so, in case he wished to take me by surprise again.
Once we were on our own, Charles took a step closer to me, despite the gun that I held defiantly between us. His eyes were empty and hungry and, for the most part, inscrutable. He was as much a mystery as he was familiar, as far away from me in life and spirit as he was physically close.
‘Do you still promise that what you said is true?’ he asked me.
I wanted to shake him, pull him close to me, put his hands on me, perhaps then he would understand.
‘It’s true, Charles! How can you ask us to take the money? You still don’t get why I am standing here, willing to die, willing to kill! Imagine, for one small, mad moment here, imagine that we find some way in this world to be together. Imagine that our child is born. What kind of world would you want him to inhabit? One in which he is free to live out his future, or the one in which his father’s people mistreat and subjugate those of his mother? Tell me, Charles, what kind of a world? Ask yourself, what kind of world?!’
He stared at me with pain and love. They were not easy questions, and most of it was not his fault; he was only trying to be honest and dutiful, right and fair.
‘You are up against the might of an entire empire,’ he pleaded, ‘you cannot win this fight.’
His words made me anxious, but I couldn’t let them shake me. ‘They say that about every fight. Until it is won.’
A loud bang shook the hotel.
I heard my sisters call my name and I quickly led Charles back inside.
The floor creaked, floorboards ripped out from the sides and the ceiling rained down on us.
