Page 108 of Next to Everything We Wanted
Distant memories filled my mind, sending a wave of humiliation over me.
He seemed to notice my embarrassment because he drew in a sharp breath. “Ready to hear this?”
My chest tightened, but my curiosity would plague me if I didn’t know what had happened. “I’m ready.”
“After you passed out at Sienna’s house, she dialed 911 and found me on your emergency contacts. Phoenix and I drove right over as soon as possible. You were being carried away just as we got there. We were in hysterics and yelled at her for letting it happen. She explained everything.”
The blood froze in my veins.The magazine. “Listen, I’m so sorry?—”
“I don’t want to hear it.” He held up his hand.
“I really tried?—”
“I knew it was going to happen, Gavin.” His voice shook, a flurry of emotion filling his eyes. “Let’s face it. Our other bandmates could get away with it, but we were too in thespotlight to be ignored. Changing our looks and names could only do so much. That’s not what I care about, though.”
“I-It’s not?”
“Gosh, Gavin, I’m not a monster. Yes, I’m upset Sienna found out your identity. Yes, I wish you would’ve listened to us. But I care about you way more than our secret. I mean, look at you now.”
“A person can’t look at themselves without a mirror.” It was stupid to try to joke, and I sipped my soup to hide my embarrassment.
“Gavin.” He sighed. “What happened Tuesday night shouldn’t have happened. Thank God you only had a minor concussion, but you needed to stay at the hospital until last night so they could run tests. Sienna and her cousins—Adam and Eve, right?—came with us and sobbed in the waiting room.”
“I-I didn’t know that. And it’s Emma. Her parents missed a big opportunity not naming her Eve.”
That got me a smile from him. “Anyway, once they told us you needed to stay overnight, we drove Sienna and her cousins to the apartment to meet up with Celeste and Ellis.”
“Wait.” I put my soup down, my stomach sinking. “You brought themhere?” Sienna had visited my apartment for the first time without me? Her first visit to our apartment—whenever it would’ve been—was supposed to be special.
He nodded. “Sienna’s dad was on a business trip, and her aunt and uncle both had night shifts. Sienna wasn’t in the right headspace to take care of the twins by herself. We talked until Sienna’s aunt texted that she was coming home from her shift early, and Phoenix and I brought them home and took your car before Mrs. Rowan got back. None of us could stop crying the entire time. I’ve never . . .” Forrest looked away as his voice broke. “I’ve never felt that way in my life. So helpless.”
Guilt twisted around my heart. In the heat of the moment, I hadn’t cared about how it’d affect anyone else. I’d only cared about the way Forrest would yell at me, the way Phoenix would be disappointed, the way my secret would be out in the world and unable to be taken back.
I wasn’t the only one in pain.
Forrest faced me again, tears glistening in his eyes. For once, he didn’t look angry or untrusting. He was . . . broken. “You’re so much more important than our privacy and careers, Gavin. You’ve never passed out from a panic attack, and it scared the life out of me. I can’t . . .” Tears spilled down his cheeks, dripping from his sharp jawline. “I can’t fathom any of it.”
“Forrest.” It only took a few seconds for tears to stream down my own cheeks. “I wish I could’ve prevented this. I should’ve listened to you and Phoenix. I should’ve never started dating Sienna, and I regret?—”
“Stop.” He put his hand on my shoulder. “While I wish things were different, Sienna really showed her true character that night. She has a beautiful heart that’s in the right place. Just like yours.” His lips curved in a smile. “I can see how much she cares about others. Aboutyou. Even when she’s at her worst. You deserve someone like her.”
Warmth flooded my chest. “Thank you.” I sniffled, wiping snot from my nose. “That’s all I wanted to hear coming from you.” A crushing realization dawned on me, killing the warmth in my system. “But Sienna and I are done. All the stuff we said to each other . . . We can’t salvage that.”
His smile fell. “Don’t lose hope, okay?”
My hopes were out the window, but I didn’t want to disagree with him. “Okay.”
He sighed. “This wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t added to the pressure that you already had on yourself. This isn’t Sienna’sfault—it could’ve happened with any other girl. I hold myself responsible.”
I stared at my soup. “I don’t want you to blame yourself. You were right about everything.”
His cold fingers locked with mine, his rings brushing against my skin. “I don’t want you to blame yourself, either. I love you so much, Gavin Felix Hanville.”
“I told you to never say my middle name again.”
He rolled his eyes. “Gavin Hanville, I’d give everything for you. I want you to know that.”
“I love you, too.” I pulled him into the tightest hug, nearly crushing his spine. “I’ve never had a best friend as long as I’ve had you, and even though you can be . . . challenging, you mean everything to me and more.”
