Page 151 of Next to Everything We Wanted
“I’d understand if we hadn’t already gone down this road! You can’t expect me to be honest about my past when you don’t want to be honest yourself. And you only spoke to your estranged mom over this?” He shook his head. “I wouldn’t have felt differently about you if you’d told me as soon as you knew. But this . . . this makes you just as selfish as her. Maybe even worse.”
You’re just as selfish as her. His words struck me through my core. Out of everything horrible he could’ve said to me—that he didn’t like me anymore, that I wasn’t pretty, that I’d never go anywhere in life—nothing could’ve hurt more than this.
“This isn’t going to work.” The tears I’d been holding back finally came to the surface, yet I stepped closer to him. I wanted him to take me in. To see how this killed me like it killed him. “I wanted you more than anything, and I thought you felt the same way, but our worlds were never meant to collide like this. All you’ve done is break my heart—and I’ve only broken yours back.”
His lashes fluttered as he blinked at me. I waited for him to yell at me, to protest, to apologize, to sayanything.
Finally, he drew in a deep breath. “You’re right. We were never meant to work.”
Hearing the words from him only sent another dagger through my heart, even though I knew it was true. We couldn’t keep going down this road of keeping big secrets and tiptoeing around other people.
Loving someone meant letting them go.
And I loved him to pieces.
So I had to let him go.
“So,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “We’re done?”
I sighed, my chest aching. “We are.”
He nodded before opening the door, revealing almost every person I knew.
Mom stood the closest to the door, hurt etched on her face. She’d probably heard us yelling, heard the truth about why I reached out to her. I didn’t care about her feelings right now, though. So much pain would’ve been spared if she’d never left me, if she’d never gotten hired at Mercury Heights Records, if she’d never worked with Charm Street. I knew I couldn’t blame her for my relationship with Gavin going down in flames, but I wanted to.
Everett, Celeste, Eli, and Nick looked like they’d seen a ghost. Everett grimaced at us, clenching his fists. Celeste had a hand on his shoulder as if she’d been trying to calm him down, though she didn’t look any happier.
My bandmates made up the rest of the crowd. Raina was in the front, holding hands with Dallas, both of them crestfallen. Hayden’s eyes were huge with worry, his mouth hanging open.
“Don’t worry,” I told everyone, quickly wiping my tears. “We’re over. No need for any drama.”
“So, we never have to deal with you again?” Everett spat, his eyes darkening as he narrowed them at me. “Because I’m tired of this show.”
Celeste gripped his shoulder tighter. “Not now.”
“Why not? I told him this was going to end in disaster. I told him he’d regret it.”
“Can you just shut up?” Gavin snapped. “You don’t need to make us feel worse.”
Everett grunted, crossing his arms over his chest. “Then can we go home?”
“So you can makemefeel worse?”
“Guys!” Celeste shouted before facing me. “I’m so sorry for everything. This never should’ve happened.”
“No need to apologize,” I said, my voice trembling. As selfish as it was, I still wanted to be friends with her. Whatever talk she’d have with her bandmates would probably change her mind. “Have a safe ride home.”
She nodded and gave me a tight smile.
“I’m sorry, too,” Nick said.
Eli also nodded. “And me.”
I wiped another tear from my cheek. “Don’t be sorry. I’ll miss you guys.”
They gave me sad smiles before heading out the hallway. Everett stormed after them.
I faced Gavin, who hadn’t moved. “Good luck.” I wasn’t sure what it was for—dealing with his bandmates, getting other gigs, trying to keep his identity safe, finding another girl. Even though he’d shattered my heart into pieces, we were both guilty as charged.
