Page 180 of Next to Everything We Wanted
“I wanted to catch you before you flew back tomorrow.” I swallowed. “Can we come in?”
“Sure.” She sounded hesitant, but she led us into the suite.
The smell of vanilla greeted us as we followed Mom. This place was way out of my element, almost as elegant as the Vermont mansion, with high ceilings, luxury furniture, and walls covered in paintings. It was wild that for the first time in seven and a half years, we were in the same room together.
“What brings you here?” Mom asked, sitting on a sofa across from us.
“Sienna wanted to talk to you,” Dad said with a smile, seeming shaky himself.
“Is this about Gavin Hanville?”
I shook my head. “I-I wanted to apologize for how I treated you on Saturday,” I stammered. “I shouldn’t have acted that way. You didn’t even know I’d be there.”
“You don’t have to apologize, Sea.” A strange feeling bloomed in my stomach from hearing my nickname. “I understand why you reacted that way.” Her gaze went to my dad. “Breakups are hard.”
Dad scratched the back of his neck. “They are.”
“Still,” I said. “I’m sorry I made you think I was trying to forgive you when I only wanted to hear about your connection with Charm Street.”
“I understand why you did that, too.” Mom sunk her teeth into her lip. “I don’t deserve to be in your life.”
I looked out the window, unable to meet her heavy gaze. The city was beautiful, the lights much brighter than how I felt on the inside. “I don’t know if I’ll fully forgive you for leaving us, for hurting us the way you did . . .” I glanced at Dad, who gave me a pained smile. “We may never be a happy family again, but holding on to the past isn’t healthy.”
Mom nodded, staying silent.
“I appreciate your efforts to reach out,” I continued. “I’m sorry that I haven’t seen how you were trying to change.”
“I understand, Sienna,” she said softly, her lips curving in a smile. “Thank you for coming here to tell me this.”
I smiled back, the tightness beneath my ribs loosening. “Is there anything you want to get off your chest?” I asked, knowing she wanted to say something. She was holding back because she didn’t want to make this about herself. For once, I wanted to hear how she felt.
Mom sighed, stretching her hands on her legs. “I was really hoping that you’d forgive me, as selfish as it was. I’ve thought about you since the day that I walked out the door. I’ve thought about how I never woke you up to say goodbye since I didn’t know how to do it. I regret it.”
Do you regret leaving? Or just not saying goodbye?I wanted to ask her, but I pushed back the question, worried that the truth would sting.
“I wish I could undo everything,” Mom continued, her voice almost a hushed whisper. “I wish I could undo every mistake I’ve ever made. I can’t, though. Trying to build a relationship with you again . . . That’s the best I can do.”
Tears pricked the back of my eyes, acceptance settling in my chest. “I understand.”
Before I could cry, I got up and hugged Mom. It was strange to feel the warmth of her embrace as she wrapped her arms around me. It wasn’t like how I remembered it. It was different, more tender.
It was forgiving.
Maybe I’d been wrong. Maybe I could forgive her one day and build a relationship with her. We could never go back to where we were before, but we still had a chance to change things now.
When we broke out of the hug, I looked into Mom’s eyes. They were deep and warm, a layer of tears covering the rich brown.
Instead of sitting next to Dad, I sat beside her. I curled my fingers into hers, her diamond ring grazing my skin. Her wedding ring.
“You still wear it,” I whispered, a strange surge of warmth flooding my chest.
She smiled, the corners of her eyes wrinkling. “I’ve been wearing it for the past year.” She glanced at Dad, who wiped tears from his eyes. “It’s the most precious thing I own.”
A grin spread across Dad’s face.
I squeezed Mom’s hand, hope blooming in my chest like a balloon.
“Now, about that Gavin Hanville,” she said. “What is it you want to know about him?”
