Page 42 of Next to Everything We Wanted
If I hadn’t already lost it.
Yawning, I unlocked my apartment door and brought my overnight bag inside. Phoenix and Forrest were eating dinner at the kitchen table. The smell of pizza filled the air, reminding my stomach that I hadn’t eaten in forever.
“You guys had pizza without me?” I said, feigning hurt. “I never expected that level of betrayal from either of you.”
Forrest rolled his eyes. “We’ve missed you, too.”
“Welcome back,” Phoenix said as he placed his pizza down, giving me a small smile. “It’s not good pizza, anyway. We wanted to try a family-owned place, but it stinks. We’re going back to Cheesy Times.”
“Cheesy Times never fails.” I smiled and grabbed yogurt from the fridge. “How was yesterday?”
“It was alright.” Forrest shrugged as I sat next to him. “It was kind of dull without you around. We tried writing a song about it, but it didn’t come out too well.” He ate his pizza crust, seeming to like it more than Phoenix had. “Hey, um, I know you just got home and probably want to relax, but can we talk?”
“Talk away.” Though I wasn’t in the mood to talk about my strange behavior, it was better to talk to Forrest about something serious when he was in the mood.
“Do you believe I care about you?”
I nearly dropped my spoon in my yogurt. “What do you mean?”
He let out a heavy sigh. “You know what I mean.”
“Um,” Phoenix said, turning the sink off after washing his plate. “I’ll be in the bathroom.”
“Are you giving us alone time or hacking up that horrible pizza?” I asked.
“We’ll see.” He scurried into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.
“The pizza wasn’t that bad,” Forrest said, his full lips curving in a small smile. “Seriously, though, do you think I care about you?”
I twirled my spoon around in my strawberry yogurt. “Of course. You and Phoenix look out for me like nobody else.”
“Do you think that Ialonecare enough about you?”
My brows furrowed. “Why are you asking?”
The intensity in his eyes grew, the brown going from warm to murky. “I’ll answer afteryouanswer.”
I sighed. “Yes, youalonecare about me enough.”
“Does it come off that way? Did I come off too strong Monday night?”
“You did.” I looked away from him. “And it hurt. You were all upset about Sienna sneaking backstage instead appreciating that she was there.”
“I wasn’t just upset about that. You were supposed to come back on stage once you felt better. And before you say it, I know panic attacks suck. It caught me off guard to see that girl there, playing cards like you were friends or something.” He raised an eyebrow. “Are you friends?”
“We’re not,” I said, though a part of me wished that wasn’t true. I would’ve loved to be friends with Sienna. Her presence had a layer of comfort that I’d never felt before. “And I still feel like you don’t understand. You’re so dead set on things being a certain way that you can’t see clearly sometimes. I had to put myself first.”
“I do understand,” Forrest said, his gaze softening. “And I’m sorry for the way I acted. You didn’t deserve that.”
“Yeah.” I pushed my yogurt cup back. “Now why are you bringing this up?”
“Phoenix wanted us to talk and ‘say the things that we haven’t been saying’. And I wanted to do it, too. I hated the way things ended on Monday night and didn’t really sleep well.”
Guilt tugged in my chest. Phoenix wanted me to tell him what happened last Thursday. That wasn’t going to happen. Even though Forrest was gentle now, he’d never let me hear the end of it if he knew how badly I’d screwed up.
Forgive me for being such a liar,Phoenix.
“I forgive you,” I told Forrest.
