Page 64 of Next to Everything We Wanted
My cheeks burned something fierce.Thatwasn’t supposed to slip out. Even my friends had no idea that we’d gone on a date.
Dad snorted. “Sorry, but you’ve only kissed one guy in your life, and that was because he was your lab partner and liked your hair. You’ve upgraded big time.”
“Gosh, Dad.” I stuffed waffles in my mouth to distract myself from my embarrassment. It didn’t work. “Just pretend that I didn’t say that.”
“Come on, Sienna, it’s not like you slept with him.”
“Dad!” My cheeks grew hotter, but I couldn’t stop laughing. “Of course we didn’t!”
“Good. You’re both responsible.”
“He just broke up with his girlfriend last month.” I played with my fork. “I don’t think he’s looking for a rebound. Not that I want to be one. I just . . . I really like him.”
Dad nodded and sipped his coffee. “You need to keep spending time together before you make any decisions.”
My chest ached, thinking about how selfish I was for wanting to date a guy I’d just started hanging out with when he’d just broken up with his girlfriend who wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.Selfish, Sienna. “It wasn’t supposed to be a romantic date to begin with.”
“Sometimes things turn out that way. I know you’ll figure it out.”
“I hope I will soon.” I chewed the inside of my cheek. “I don’t want Raina or the others to be upset that I’m keeping stuff from them. But lately, I just feel like keeping some things to myself. Is that wrong?”
“I don’t think so.” Dad frowned. “I’m the same way with Uncle Reed. Sometimes he gets upset when I don’t tell him things right away. I just like keeping some things close to the chest for a bit.” He scratched the back of his neck. “There’s only one person who I wasn’t that way with.”
My stomach tightened, killing some of my appetite. “You miss her.”
He looked down at his plate. “Is it okay if I talk more about it?”
Guilt twisted my insides as I realized that I’d never let him talk about it in the past. I’d always cut him off, tell him to change the subject. But he needed someone now. He needed me.
I drew in a breath. “Yes.”
He gave me a small smile. “I used to hate her. I really did. When she walked out that door, it crushed me, but nothing compared to the way your face fell when I told you that she wasn’t coming back. After you spent the entire day crying in my arms, I called her at her hotel and cussed her out. I said the harshest things I’d ever said to a human being. After that call, I didn’t talk to her for five years.”
My stomach twisted again, but I let him keep talking.
Dad clenched his fists, the warm look in his eyes completely gone. “I hated her with every fiber of my being, Sienna. She could’ve divorced me if she wasn’t so stingy about money, but leavingyoubehind? That was unforgivable to me.”
I drew in a shallow breath. “So why do you want me to read her letter? Why didn’t you rip it to shreds?”
He scratched his beard. “Around two years ago, she found a way to reach me. I’d blocked her number and thrown out everything that reminded me of her. I would’ve sold my wedding ring if I had it in me. She sent me a letter and had disguised it as something else. I read it like a fool, and I unblocked her number. I called her to say I’d never forgive her. It didn’t go that way.” He shook his head. “She regrets the way she left. She thought she had everything she wanted in California, but we were missing from the bigger picture.”
“So, you listened to her?” I tried to keep my voice soft, hiding some of my frustration. How could she try to lure my dad back after everything she’d put us through?
“I didn’t believe her at first,” Dad said. “Through these past two years, she’s shown that she still cares. She asks about you whenever we talk and is proud of how far you’ve come.”
I crossed my arms. “If she is, then how about she pays for my fashion school with the heaps of money she has?”
“She . . . she isn’t doing as well as you may think.”
“That’s on her. She should’ve known better.”
Dad huffed. “I’m going to stop now because I know where this is going. I don’t want to get a rise out of you.”
“I just don’t understand,” I said, realizing that I’d raised my voice. “Was she only talking to you because things got bad with her career?” I didn’t know much about Mom’s job, trying to detach myself from her as much as possible, but she’d been successful at some point. Just like she wanted.
“That’s not . . .” Dad sighed. “We’ll talk about this another time, okay? When the wound isn’t as fresh.”
“Just because the wound isn’t fresh doesn’t mean it won’t hurt,” I said, my voice shaking as something stung at the back of my eyes.
