Page 83 of Next to Everything We Wanted
While we drank our lattes, she gave me a run-down of the state of her band. Her keyboardist, Caleb, was leaving for boarding school in August, and Arielle would be taking over. Sienna seemed happy for him, though I could tell she was worried about how they would maintain things. They were supposed to start performing here this summer, but they didn’t have dates for the gigs yet.
“We’re hoping we can get something in mid-July,” Sienna said, gazing out the window. “I want things to still be fun. When we were preparing for Battle of the Bands, all the fun just turned into . . . work. We fought a lot and almost dropped out.”
“That unfortunately happens a lot in the music industry.” I swallowed, folding my hands together. “I mean, when you become more serious about music and have other people involved. Everyone has to look out for each otherandthemselves.”
Sienna’s head tilted at me, but I couldn’t read her expression.Crap. Helping her band was going to be impossible without my damaged Gavin coming out.
I drew in a sharp breath. “Working with others is hard when you still haven’t learned how to work with yourself.”
“I agree with that. My bandmates and I still have room to improve.” She twirled a bracelet around her wrist. “Have you ever been in a band that’s broken up before?”
Yeah, this was areallybad idea. This girl wanted to search my soul as if she were looking for gold. Despite wanting to change the subject, I didn’t want to close myself off to her. “Yes.”
Her eyebrows arched. “What led to the decision?”
“My departure.” I scratched the back of my neck. “I left because it wasn’t right for me. I spent every moment stressed out and sick to my stomach. The only way to find my love for music again was to leave.”
“It doesn’t look like you regret leaving.”
“I wouldn’t give up Somewhere in the Sky for the world.”
Sienna smiled and nodded, her earrings dangling. She often wore silver earrings, especially ones that looked like chandeliers. She looked drop-dead gorgeous in them.
As we talked more about our networking plans, I couldn’t stop noticing the small features that Sienna had. It wasn’t just the mood of the concert that had made me feel this way—it was all her. Her thick eyebrows, her full red lips, how she sometimes looked into my eyes like she was getting lost in them. If she only knew how much I’d gotten lost in hers.
The way she made me feel safe reminded me of Celeste. But it also felt much different. Much more . . . right.
But so freaking wrong.
Sienna giggled. “I love that you’re smiling so much.”
“Oh,” I said, blood rushing to my cheeks. “I’m actually not. I’m just showing off my teeth. Never had a cavity in my life.”
Sienna snorted, covering her mouth with her hand. Gosh, it was adorable when she did that. “Tell me where you get this humor from, because my friends could take a lot of pointers.”
I shrugged with a genuine smile. “I’m just good at saying stupid stuff and bad at covering it up. It’s probably why no one believes me when I lie.”
She smiled back, her eyes lighting up again. “Then I guess that you never lie to me.”
My spirits took a nosedive.
“Are you okay?” She frowned. “Did I . . . did I make you uncomfortable?”
“No!” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I hope that my truthfulness is as evident as my bad lying.”
She laughed. “It definitely is.”
“So, since we’re on the topic of being truthful . . .” I cleared my throat again before I lost my last nerve. “I agree with your text from yesterday. We can’t just kiss like that and keep acting like we’re friends.”
She nodded, though her face fell. “What should we do, then?”
Just spit it out, just spit it out. “I want to go out with you. For real.” My cheeks flamed as I tried not to look away from her. “I should’ve asked last weekend, but I wanted the full week to process things because I . . . I like you.”
Her cheeks pinkened in the most adorable way. “I like you too.” She held my hand from across the table. “I can’t wait to know all there is about you.”
A painful sensation wedged its way between my ribs.You’re going to regret this, a small voice in my head said. I shut it out and grinned at Sienna. “I can’t wait, either.”
CHAPTER 20
