Page 45 of Lawless
Two of Gunner's men snorted with laughter before quickly moving out of the vice president's way. Jandro cast them a momentary glare before returning a warm gaze back to me.
"I'll be on my best behavior," he promised with a palm to his chest. "Unless something happens in which I need another good luck kiss."
"Stephan had no chance against you in that fight," I said, making my way toward him.
"I didn't expect him to challenge me." Jandro unwrapped a cloth bundle from his saddlebag and held out a piece of jerky to me. "He did good, though. I went easy on the kid. He'll be a good soldier."
I accepted the dried meat strip and took a bite, chewing thoughtfully as I watched the rest of the men set up camp. Shadow set himself up alone far away from everyone else, as usual. He pulled a handle of liquor from his saddlebag and sat down on his bedroll. The jerky nearly fell out of my mouth as I watched him chug straight from the bottle.
"Holy shit, is he trying to kill himself?"
"No," Jandro sighed. His fingers skimmed across my lower back. "Have a seat, Mari."
I lowered myself onto a flat rock, still watching in disbelief as Shadow made quick work of the alcohol.
"He'll be dead in five years if he keeps that up."
"And he'll probably welcome it," Jandro muttered, setting up a cooking grate over the fire. "Shadow's been through shit none of us can even imagine.”
He hesitated, glancing once more at his silent friend before continuing to set up. “He has nightmares where he wakes up screaming. The only way he and all of us can get a few hours of peaceful sleep is if he passes out from booze." His eyes lifted toward his silent friend. "And the big guy needs to puta lotof it away for that to happen."
"I have sleep aids," I said, reaching for my pack. "Side effects are minimal and he'll be—“
Jandro shook his head, looking at me with sorrow in his warm eyes. "No offense, Mari, but you're a woman. Shadow doesn't trust any women. The reasons why are complicated, but it's best you don't try to give him anything. At least for a little while."
His bottle now empty, the large man began swaying where he sat. He looked around the camp, but his one uncovered eye didn't seem to register what was around him. His lips began moving as if muttering to himself, which made Jandro spring into action.
"I'll be right back," he said, taking long strides to his friend.
No sooner had he knelt by Shadow's side, an arm fell over my shoulder and Gunner's smile beamed in front of my face.
"Aww, thanks for setting us up, baby girl! Keep doing that shit and I'll make you my old lady. Reaper will pitch a fit."
Said president and Hades were across the fire with Jandro and Shadow, talking softly among themselves while Shadow looked as though he struggled to stay awake.
But something the golden, smiling man said pulled my attention back to him.
"Setusup?" I blinked.
"Well, yeah. Where did you think you were gonna sleep? Not in the dirt by yourself."
"I, um..."
Gunner's smile faded as he slowly removed his arm from around my shoulders.
"Hey, you can relax. I remember how freaked out you were at the service center. I won't touch you like that again, not if it scares you." A lopsided grin returned. "I like weapons and dangerous shit, but I honestly don't want to scare anyone that doesn't deserve it. You've kinda been through a lot, so I get it."
I stared into the fire as I turned his words over in my head. "There's not a lot that scares me anymore, to be honest." Crackles and pops from the flames filled the silence. "But yeah, getting kidnapped and violated by a bunch of men on motorcycles is pretty high up there."
"We don't do that. Not the violating part, at least."
"You're the second man in this club who's told me that," I mused. "And with every day that passes, I want to believe you, but..." Gretchen's face haunted me every time I closed my eyes. How ashamedly she asked me for a morning-after pill.
Gunner scooted away from me with his eyes downcast, and I felt like I kicked a puppy.
"Well, you don't have to sleep near me if you don't want to. You can have my bedroll and I'll sleep on my leathers or something. I gotta be up for my patrol shift in a few hours, so—“
Goddamn it.
