Page 2 of Powerless
"I'm trying!" His brow pinched tight with despair. I could now see the tear tracks on the kid's face, who looked no older than me.
I should have walked off right then but something pulled at me to stay with him. Most of our inmates went through some kind of trauma, whether before or after coming to our facility, but I never saw anyone so broken down as this kid. Even more unusual, he seemed sane now that he wasn't screaming his head off.
I sank to the floor, getting eye-level with the small foodport slot in his door and unlocked it.Fuck. Maybe I'm the crazy one, I thought as I slid it open.
"Hey, come here," I said through the slot. "Tell me what's going on with you."
"No! You're going to pepper-spray me again."
Shit. When was that, yesterday? Last week? All the long shifts had blurred together so much, I forgot Crodick and his asshole buddy had coaxed inmates to look through the foodport and sprayed them for fun.
"That wasn't me," I answered. "Look, I'm a new guy. I'm not even supposed to be talking to you. But you don't seem all that crazy and I'd rather level with you than yell at you. So what's wrong?"
He didn't come closer to the door, but his shaking voice floated from across the cell.
"I'm not crazy. I just get bad nightmares when I sleep. Sometimes they stay with me as I wake up. I don'twantto wake up screaming but I can't help it. I've been trying to stay awake but when I nod off..."
"Okay. Have they given you meds?"
"All the nurses are female! I don't take anything from women. No, never again. No, no, no.”
Hmm, maybe he was a little nuttier than I thought. But on a second glance at his scarred up body, maybe not. Either way, I couldn’t blame him for being distrustful.
"Okay," I repeated. "Would you accept meds if they came from a man?"
He hesitated before answering. “If they work. And if no one hits me." A soft sob echoed against the concrete walls of his cell. "I just want it to stop."
I leaned my head and shoulder against the door with a sigh. I had no power to help him. Any requests to make inmates more comfortable would be met with suspicion and scrutiny. And I wouldn't put it past Crodick and his crew to double-down on harassing this kid just because I was trying to do something nice for him.
My head lifted off the door with a start, remembering something about Crodick that I could use.No, I thought.You will get tossed out of this job so fast and maybe even arrested.
The next thought came just as quickly, spurring my tired feet to get under me.Fuck it. You're already done with this place.
"I'll be right back," I told the kid, leaving the foodport open as I headed for the stairs.
This was stupid, bordering on dangerous. But the world was ending and I ran out of fucks to give.
Crodick remained in the same position I left him in—hands on his belly, head leaned back, mouth open and snoring.
I came up next to him as silently as I could, then held my breath as I slowly pulled open the file drawer just below his feet. He snorted once but didn't wake up. Only a few seconds of rummaging produced what I needed—his hidden flask of whiskey.
"When you win your first fight with an inmate, you can have a shot," he taunted me when I first got hired as he poured a generous amount into his coffee.
"Why would I fight one of them?" I had asked. "We're supposed to treat them humanely, right?"
He had doubled over laughing as if that was the funniest joke he ever heard. The memory followed me like a ghost as I left the office with the small bottle, taking it back to the door with the open foodport.
When I kneeled in front of the slot, one pale, scarred white eye and one brown eye peered at me through the opening.
"Here," I said, shoving the flask through. "It'll numb you and you might even be able to sleep a little. You’re gonna feel rough tomorrow, though."
He took the flask and twisted the top open, holding it under his nose as he took a small whiff. Then he held it to his lips and upturned it to swallow every last drop.
"Well, that's one way to do it," I muttered. "You'll start feeling it soon."
The kid was so thin, he already began to sway where he sat. His lids half-closed and his brow finally relaxed.
"Hey, before you nod off," I said. "What's your name?"
