Page 39 of Powerless
"I can't believe I never made that connection." A different ache formed in my heart, one of empathy. "He's been hurting the whole time I've known him. How could I miss that?"
"He shoves it down deep," Jandro answered. "Covers it up with that asshole exterior. But the happiest I've seen him in over a year is when he's with you. So you might be healing our president after all, Miss Medic."
I rolled over slowly, the darkness thankfully hiding my puffy face. "Can I be honest with you, Jandro?"
"Always." His hands pulled away from my hair to tuck behind his head.
"I don't know if I can go back to that. Having to watch what I say, dealing with him not talking to me for days if I say the wrong thing. I lov—he means a lot to me, but I can't live like that."
I swallowed the knot in my throat, the weight of what Ialmostsaid feeling like a brick in my stomach.
"The guy's not perfect, that's for damn sure," Jandro said. "And you're free to choose your own partner, orpartners. But if anyone can remove Reap's head from his ass, I'm betting on you."
It was sweet of him to say, but my mind was made up even though my heart disagreed with every pump of blood through me. The heart was stupid, though. That was why it wasn't the brain.
After we got back to Sheol, I wasn't going to be anyone's girl. It didn't matter if they wanted arm candy, casual sex, or something more. I just wanted to be a medic and do what I loved most.
I'd have to move out of Reaper's place most likely, but I'd figure out the logistics of that when the time came. Maybe I could be Gunner or Jandro's roommate. Platonically, of course.
I smiled at the thought of seeing Tessa again. She'd be ready to pop soon and I couldn't wait to deliver and meet her baby.Thatwas what I needed to focus on. My work, my calling in life. Not a guy, no matter how good in bed he was.
"Thanks for listening, Jandro." I reached out in the darkness, aiming blindly for a half-hug or maybe a pat on the shoulder. Instead my hand found a flat plane followed by ridges of hard muscle.
"Okay, this is really embarrassing as a medic but what am I touching?"
"You're like a half-inch away from tweaking my nipple. Which you are welcome to do, by the way."
I knew he'd expect me to pull my hand away, and so decided to play his own game and do just the opposite.
"Ow! I said you couldtweakit, not give me a full-on titty twister!"
"It was too tempting," I laughed, sliding my hands under my head. "I'm learning how you play."
"I'm creating a monster," he chuckled before pulling his sleeping bag over him. "Goodnight,Mariposita."
I saw his dark outline lean over to me and I lifted my head without thinking.
The kiss he planted landed at the corner of my mouth.
Fifteen
MARIPOSA
Iknew before even fully waking that I ended up in Jandro's sleeping bag. After crying and spilling my guts out to him, I didn't even care.
My head snuggled into his chest, mostly smooth and hairless except for a small strip between his pecs. He was built broader than Reaper, with slightly thicker arms. His smell carried a hint of motor oil alongside clean earth. The same smell I leaned into on the back of his bike, and wrapped around myself in his blankets.
I let out a sigh and nuzzled my face deeper into him, not ready to leave this cocoon of warmth and safety I found. He responded by tightening his arm around me, pulling me flush against his torso.
"You awake?" he mumbled somewhere above my head.
"No."
"Me neither." He sighed contentedly, his chest expanding against my cheek. "You okay like this?"
"Mm hm." My hand drifted along his ribs. "I don't want to move," I confessed.
"Same here,Mariposita." He pulled back to look at me and I almost gasped at the sight of his hazel eyes up close. The shifting colorsalmostput Reaper's eyes to shame. "I don't want to make your feelings even more confused," he said.
