Page 16 of Smoke and Mirrors
Just knowing the potential to become that kind of person was inside me, unlocked by a certain substance, gave me massive self-worth issues growing up. I did okay in school, but no one wanted to be friends with me because I lived in the trailer park. Boys saw me as good enough to hook up with but never date, which prompted rumors about me being just like my mom—screwing every guy that looked her way and ending up pregnant too many times. And to no one’s surprise, her baby daddies always bailed.
Razvan was sweet and a good listener when I opened up about not drinking, or at least he appeared to be. He then showed me his dragon shift, and said I was the only human he had shown that form to. He certainly never indicated he would throw the shame of my upbringing in my face.
Ineverwanted to be like my mom, and became overly suspicious of men’s motives as a result. And yet here I was, juggling my feelings for three guys at the same time. It was hard enough allowing myself to trust Connor and now Hunter. Because of them, I felt like I was finally allowed to breathe. I could relax, laugh, be myself, and fall in love.
My cantankerous soldier and the shapeshifting family man. For a fleeting moment, I thought Razvan could fit into our little band of misfits too. But the moment his trust could be called into question, I was like a stretched out rubber band that snapped back. I regressed. I immediately went back to the mindset I knew all my life— that the only thing men cared about was getting their dicks wet.
And that was my fault. Not his.
“He did it because I hurt him first.”
I didn’t just see the hurt in his face, I felt it when I sensed him.
When his presence—or whatever it was I sensed—touched me, it did so with longing and sorrow. He missed me and it made me realize how much I missed him. I was right. It was wrong of him to kiss me with no warning and hurt Ally, but he was also right. I projected my own bullshit onto him and that wasn’t fair.
And I still pushed him away, lashed out at him, and for what? For no other reason than being a stubborn child, like he said.
Hunter and I walked in silence across the campgrounds to Connor’s trailer, where a warm glow came from inside. My mood thoroughly soured, I hoped he wouldn’t ask a million questions about this date. It seemed no matter how much Hunter and I just tried to have fun, something had to come along and ruin it for us.
“Hey, listen,” the handsome wolf said softly, turning to face me in front of the door.
I peered up at him with reluctance as his arms slid around my waist and pulled me closer with a gentle tug.
“I don’t care who or what tried to get in our way tonight,” he lowered his forehead to mine, “I had an amazing time with you, and I can’t wait to see you again.”
“Hunter, it’s okay. You don’t have to say that,” I murmured. “I’m a magnet for drama and bullshit. And I’m an immature teenager, I just make it worse—”
“Mel, stop.”
He cupped one hand to my cheek and brought his lips crashing down to mine. The sudden pressure and intensity elicited a gasp from me, providing ample opportunity for his tongue to invade and deepen the kiss.
My knees wobbled under the weight of him, and his arms found their way to the small of my back, crushing me against his chest. If that kiss on the Ferris wheel was from a romantic fairy tale, this one was from a deep, dark fantasy. The charming prince had dropped his facade to reveal the hungry wolf underneath.
He left me breathless when he pulled away, and craving more than just a kiss. I clung to his shoulders, standing on tiptoe to reach his mouth again, but the kiss he returned was a soft echo of what just transpired.
He smiled against my lips, pulling away once more with reluctance. “If I don’t stop now, I might not make it home to my kids.”
“We wouldn’t want that,” I purred, pulling his head down to mine for just one more. Or maybe a few more.
Our date started to replay in my mind as I got my last few kisses in, and I remembered what he said about how shifters had human wants too. Secure homes, jobs, and schools. I suddenly felt incredibly shitty about this place with Connor, as small and junky as it was, while Hunter had to go back to the woods.
“Hey, tell me something honestly,” I murmured, my hands drifting down to his chest.
“Anything,” he said with a kiss to my forehead.
“Do you and the kids need a place to stay?” I looked up at him. “You know, somewhere nearby with a bed and a shower.”
“We’re fine, Mel. But thank you.” I caught a hint of defensiveness in his voice, maybe with a bit of pride mixed in.
“Are you sure? Connor and I can pool together for a motel room or—”
“You’ve already done more than enough to help me.” His gaze drifted across me, matching his fingertips that lightly traveled along my back. “I couldn’t possibly ask you for more.”
“It’s no problem for us. Really,” I insisted. “You and the kids deserve some basic comforts.”
“And really, we’re fine. I promise.” His fingertips rubbed circles on my back. “We’re basically camping now and they’re enjoying it. When we get paid for closing night, I’ll get us a trailer kind of like this one,” he glanced up at Connor’s RV, “probably a bit smaller, though.”
I only remembered then that closing night—our final night of performing— was tomorrow. Then the carnival would close for the summer and we’d all be out of a job, left to return to a normal life or find another show to perform in.
