Page 19 of Smoke and Mirrors
“Good girl. You remember.”
“Shut up. Leave me alone.”
He laughed, kissing me again as he reached above us to fumble on the shelf for the foil packets. After what felt like an agonizingly long wait, he pressed inside me and we both released a sigh of utmost bliss and contentment.
Connor wasn’t my first sexual partner, but the first one I genuinely enjoyed it with. Even now, in this middle of the night quickie, every kiss and thrust felt like he was tailor-made for my pleasure. His lips never left my skin. He murmured how much he loved me and how good I felt wrapped around him as he sank into me.
The moment my moans became whimpers, my breaths grew erratic, and the pressure began building in my core, he drew out my pleasure for as long as he could while delaying his own.
“Come with me,” I pleaded in his ear. “I want to feel you.”
“You first,” he growled savagely with the restraint of holding himself back.
“I’m going to—oh, Connor!”
My orgasm lashed out like whips cracking along my nerves. At the same time, my pussy convulsed around him like it wouldn’t let go. He shuddered and groaned, clenching his fist in my hair and grazing his teeth along my shoulder. Like coiled springs, we carried the tension to the point of no return, and then released.
But even as the tension left our bodies, we never let go of each other.
10
CONNOR
Aburning hot pain pulled me out of sleep.
It concentrated around my stumps and for a moment, I was back on the black hawk minutes after being airlifted. The IED explosion itself never hurt— adrenaline and shock took care of that. It wasn’t until I was laying on my back on a stretcher, looking up at the tear-streaked faces of my brothers in arms and then down at the bloody, mangled mess of my legs, that I felt the worst pain of my life.
I shouldn’t have drank with the pain pills last night, least of all because it upset Mel, but they were taking too long to kick in and it was killing me. Now it all had worn off completely, and my dumbass threw them outside in the middle of the night.
Careful not to disturb Mel sleeping peacefully, I scooted to the end of the bed toward the door. My prosthetics leaned against the wall just in reach, but I looked away as if they were a bad omen. They were the reason my pain kept getting worse. After three years of wear, their custom fit had slid out of calibration. The more I wore them, the more pressure they put on thewrongareas of my stumps.
Fumbling on my boxer shorts, I winced as the fabric grazed over the smooth, rounded ends of where my legs stopped. It felt like knives dragging across my legs, like those masked thugs who laughed and threw rocks as I dragged my broken body across the desert—
Nope, don’t go there. You’re not there. You’re here.
I turned to look at Mel, sleeping peacefully on her side. Her gorgeous curves made a long sweeping line from her ankle to her shoulders. She was my anchor to reality. Thinking of her kept my head above water when the demons of my past tried to drown me. She reminded me that I survived and my life now was worth holding onto.
Visibly, nothing was wrong with my legs, which only made me wonder if the pain was all in my head too. No open wounds, no discoloration, nothing. But if it wasn’t real, then the meds wouldn’t have worked, right?
From the edge of the bed, I unlocked the door before lowering myself to the floor. Every brush of the floor on my legs made me want to howl in pain, so I lifted my hips up and used all the strength in my core to walk on my hands outside.
It was early enough for a chill to bite at the air, and no other performers seemed to be up yet. Even better.
I hand-walked alongside the trailer, my eyes sweeping for that orange prescription bottle. I spotted the shattered bottle of Jack right away and took care to not place my hands in broken glass.
“Fuckin’ come on,” I muttered, looking underneath the trailer and all around the tires. Nothing.
My mind raced as I thought about what I’d do for tonight, our closing show. I nearly passed out from the pain during my last act. I got out of my prosthetics as fast as I could and scored the Vicodin from one of Razvan’s guys while Mel was busy. Yesterday’s rest didn’t help a lick.
I wouldn’t make it through my act feeling like this. No chance in hell.
“Connor?”
Mel leaned out the trailer door, the bedsheet still wrapped around her and her big doe eyes hooded with sleep.
“Hey babe,” I gritted my teeth through the burning, twisting, stabbing sensation as I rested my lower body on the ground.
“What are you doing?” She rubbed her eyes.
