Page 20 of Smoke and Mirrors
“Legs are killing me,” I admitted. “I was looking for the pain pills I threw out here.”
She rubbed her face, wide awake. “Oh, Con. Let me get dressed.”
Fifteen minutes later, she had inspected every nook and cranny underneath and around the trailer. And we still turned up empty.
“Some junkie must’ve swiped it,” I hissed, pulling myself up to the second step of the trailer so my legs could swing in midair.
“I have Midol.” Mel squeezed my shoulder as she slipped past me back inside. “It’s not as strong but might help.”
I accepted the tablets and water from her, insisting on triple the normal dose despite her reluctance, then sat back and waited for the edge to come off, if at all. Like dark laser targets, her eyes never left me.
“How long has your pain been this bad?”
Fuck, I was in for it.
“Today makes three days.”
“Three days?!” she repeated. “Why didn’t you tell me yesterday?”
“Because you would have cancelled your date with Hunter to be with my sorry ass.”
“As Ishouldhave been!” She raked her fingers violently through her hair. “Connor, this is what I was talking about last night.”
“What a coincidence,” I huffed bitterly. “Same here.”
“Con—”
“Did you have fun?”
She lifted her head from her hands. “What?”
“Did you have fun yesterday?” I asked. “With him, in spite of meeting a spooky fortune teller lady and wrapping your head around your shamanic powers.”
“I… yes, I did have fun. But Con—”
“Then it’s a good thing you went,” I told her. “Learning about yourself is just icing on top of that.”
A heavy sigh escaped her as her shoulders sagged and her eyes closed. I realized I was testing her patience but the sooner she figured this out, the better.
“Connor, there’s no way you can perform like this. As ringmistress, Idohave some sway and I will not put you through that.”
“I’ll be fine if this pain goes down at all. But I sure as hell am not sitting out, babe. We need the money too badly, cause who knows where we’ll end up from here.”
“And I need you to beokay,Connor.” She took my hand, threading her small fingers through mine. “Can’t we go to a doctor? What if it’s—”
“No, babe,” I said apologetically. “My benefits are completely tapped out. Even a routine visit will cost me thousands. I’ll have to sell the RV if I get stuck with that, and then what? I’ll be at rock bottom again and I can’t do that to you.”
“But it’s not going to get better, is it?” Her dark eyes glittered with tears as they met mine. “You’ve been feeling like this for three days and it’s not going away? That’s serious, Connor. We need to see someone about it.”
“After we get paid, maybe,” I sighed. “But realistically, there’s nothing we can do. We’ve got to pack up and drive to the next job, which is going to eat through whatever we make. Doctor’s visits, new prosthetics, none of it’s realistic for me. All I can do is keep kicking the can down the road.”
Mel said nothing as her face hardened. Then she stood up abruptly and jumped the bottom step like she was heading out on a mission.
“Where you going?”
“Where’d you get the Vicodin?” she asked. “If all we can do is numb your pain for now, that’s what we’ll do. So I’m getting you more.”
I huffed out a dry laugh. “You’re not gonna like the answer.”
