Page 57 of Fearless
“I think you wanted someone to see you in a different light.” He gave me a hard look. “Someone who hasn’t seen you fight before, who wouldn’t know you well enough yet to see how out of character this is.”
“Jesus Christ.” I dropped my forehead to my hand.
“You didn’t expect her to care,” he went on. “You thought she’d just shake her head at the drunk captain acting like a fool. But instead, she got between you and Big G’s kick that could’ve broken your jaw, or worse.”
My spine shot up straight like a bolt of lightning struck me. “Did he hurt her?”
“No,” Jandro said coolly. “And if he had,wewould’ve taken care of it. You were in no shape to be outside your own goddamn front yard, let alone fighting or defending someone else.”
“Huh.We, you say.” I spat the word out. “Like you and Reaper are her knights in fucking shining armor. Give me a break.”
“I don’t give a fuck what you call it,” Jandro shrugged. “Didn’t expect that either, did you? That she chose this? That she actuallywantsto be with Reaper and me? Blows your little golden boy mind, doesn’t it?”
“Your peacocking is not fucking impressing me,” I shot back. “Don’t act like your intentions with her are so noble and pure.”
“And yours are?”
“Fuck off, Jandro.” I stood abruptly, causing Horus’s talons to dig into my shoulder. “Next time you or Reaper get in my face about this shit, I won’t wait for Fight Night. You’ll get my fist right in your fucking teeth.”
“You’re the only one that’s hurting her here,” he called after me. “And yourself. All because you won’t get out of your own way.”
I slammed the conference room door behind me and headed for my garage. I needed to ride. I needed to fly until none of these people could touch me.
Especially her.
Twenty-Three
SHADOW
Isat on my bed, which was little more than a worn-out mattress and box spring. A crude table served as my nightstand. It had been broken and repaired more times than I could count. On top of it stood the small, orange container, now empty. Last week, the woman—Mariposa—gave me seven tablets to see if they would help me sleep better.
I almost didn’t take any. I considered throwing them away. But my current regimen had been losing effectiveness for years. Alcohol numbed me to a certain point, which slipped further out of reach the more my tolerance grew. I didn’t know of any other options for relief. Neither did Jandro. So after staying up half the night debating with myself, I took one pill.
I never slept so well in my life.
For seven nights in a row, always after I took a tablet right before bed, I woke up stillinbed. Not sprawled out on the floor. No cold sweats drenching my body. No sore knuckles or pounding headache. Not even a single piece of furniture turned over.
I went to sleep. And then I woke up feeling…refreshed. At ease. It was hard to believe this was how normal people experienced sleep.
But now the container was empty.
She said I could just try them to see if they worked, then go see her for more. It sounded like an easy enough solution when she was right there, holding the pills out to me in my own home. Staring at the empty bottle now, no task ever seemed so daunting.
I would have to go to her office. Talk to her again. Think of the right words to say and not fuck it up like I did before.
The memory of her hands on me, her parted lips and the sounds she made, the silky heat and pressure of her gliding around my shaft, flashed through my mind faster than I could push it away.
“Fuck.”
My cock throbbed and flexed on its own accord. I stood up and started pacing around my room, giving my dick a few tugs to ease the pressure it ached for.
She didn’t want that. She didn’t enjoy it. I was wrong to do what I did. She wasn’t available to touch and never would be to me. I couldn’t think of her like that. But it was difficult not to when that was the most pleasurable experience I ever had with a woman. And I couldn’t just avoid her.
I saw her a few more times here at my house in the past week. Talking to her was getting easier, but only when she started it by saying hello or how are you. Thinking of a mundane question to ask her was like pulling teeth for me. Jandro and Reaper kept all of her attention anyway. She would smile and greet me, then forget I was there long before Jandro took her up to his bedroom.
I used to wish she would forget me like everyone else did. Her presence threw me off-balance and made me uneasy. She disrupted the almost-peaceful routine I had established in this club. Now, for some reason I couldn’t place, Iwantedher to see me. To remember I was here.
“Yo, Shadow!” Jandro called from his end of the hall, booted footsteps approaching quickly. “We’re heading out. You got everything you need?” He paused in my open doorway, wearing mirrored sunglasses on his head and all his riding gear.
