Page 58 of Fearless
Thankfully, my semi-erection had subsided. “Yes, I’ll be fine. See you when you get back.”
“Cool. I’ll get you a churro. See ya.” He moved as if he was about to go downstairs, then swiftly backpedalled. His eyes fell on the pill bottle next to my bed.
“Where did you get that?” I couldn’t place his tone. It didn’t sound good, but there was no point in lying.
“From Mariposa. She gave me something to see if it would help me sleep.”
He slid his hard gaze to me. “When did this happen?”
“Last week. The day after the first night she spent here. She came over while you were at the shop.” I lifted my hands, anxiety clutching me like a fist in my chest. “I didn’t do anything, Jandro. I swear to you, I didn’t touch her. I know better now. She gave me a week’s worth just to try because of my nightmares.”
“Relax, bro.” His palms lifted to mirror mine, taking a few steps into my room toward me. “I’m not mad, I know you wouldn’t do anything. I’m just surprised, that’s all. Neither one of you said anything to me.”
“I didn’t think to tell you. I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t worry. It’s all right. Again, just surprised.” He rubbed his chin, looking back at the bottle. “So they worked for you okay?”
“Yes.” I ran a hand back through my hair. He was the only one who didn’t flinch at seeing my face fully uncovered. “I’ve slept better than I had in…ever.”
“And you were okay with, you know,” he paused, “accepting medication from her?”
I knew what he was referring to. The mental health ward in the prison we met had primarily female nurses and orderlies. While in prison, the doctors diagnosed me with a whole slew of mental disorders and prescribed me handfuls of pills to take every day.
I tried to explain I didn’t want any females near me or giving me anything. When that didn’t work, Jandro tried to explain on my behalf. That resulted in him being assigned to a new post far away from me. Without my only friend, and constantly having to be restrained so women could force pills and water down my throat, I snapped.
The next thing I remembered was waking up in the solitary holding unit, permanently restrained with cuffs around my wrists, ankles, and neck. Jandro told me what the report said—I had assaulted my whole nursing team. They suffered concussions and broken bones, and intended to press charges.
“Yes,” I said, bringing my awareness back to the present. “Mariposa has always been kind to me. And she gave me the option of refusing if I didn’t want to try them. It was nothing like before.”
He rubbed the back of his neck, looking away from me. “I know you wouldn’t hurt her, man. You gave them plenty of warning back then, and as far as I’m concerned, you acted in self-defense. I’m sorry I had to ask, but I just,” he blew out a long breath. “I care about her. Fuck, what am I saying? I love her.”
I nodded, like I understood anything about what that felt like.
“Hey, while we’re on this topic. Um.” He clapped his hands together. “Can I ask you to think about something?”
“Okay?”
“Mari needs her tattoo—“
“No,” I cut him off with an abrupt shake of my head. “I can’t, Jandro.”
“Just think about it is all I’m asking. You’ve made tremendous progress since she’s been here, dude. And she’s the president’s old lady, for fuck’s sake. She deserves a damn good tattoo, not one from some junkie with a guitar string.”
“Jandro.” I rubbed my forehead, my throat already closing up. The thought of drawing the demon on her skin and making it permanent was both exhilarating and terrifying. “I would have totouchher.”
He cocked his head, eyebrows lifting. “That ship’s already sailedwayoff into the sunset, my friend.”
“And it never should have happened. I know that. She’s yours too, now. So I don’t understand why you’d want me to—“
“Bro, I said think about it, not overthink it, okay?” He clapped a hand on my arm. “Just think of her as a blank canvas, like every other tattoo you’ve done. I trust you, dude. You don’t have to make it all weird just because she’s female.”
“What?” I barked out in frustration. “Have we met before?”
He burst out laughing, practically falling into me. “Fuck me, man. You’ve got a sense of humor now too! She really is rubbing off on you.”
Ten minuteslater I was on the rooftop balcony of the clubhouse with a rifle across my lap. Motorcycles shot out of the gate with a roar, dark shadows racing across a pale, sun-bleached landscape.
Reaper rode up front, leading the pack as usual. Hades raced at his side, long legs stretching out and fearsome jaws open with a smile. And clinging to our president’s cut, Mariposa sat behind him. Her hair flew out behind her like the tail of a dark comet. Our club followed them, off to the traveling market where they would spend most of the day. Me and a skeleton crew stayed behind to guard our home and valuables.
