Page 15 of Painless
"No, I don't need your fur getting into everything." She picked up the animal around the midsection and turned it to face the opposite direction. "Go bug Shadow while I do this."
"Um—"
Before I could protest, the animal flopped over its own legs and crashed into my hand resting on the counter.
"She's about twelve weeks old, by my estimate," Mari laughed. "Still working on her coordination."
"Is she like Hades and Horus?" I asked, watching the tiny, furry thing play with my hand. I didn't move a muscle, but she jumped over my palm, chewed on my fingers, and kicked at my hand with her back legs.
"I think so," Mariposa said in a quieter voice. "Her name came to me as soon as I found her in the scrap pile behind Jandro's shop. Before I even heard her meowing, I felt this pull to look and find her. Reaper knew exactly what it was." She looked up at me with a small smile, her face pinker than usual. "Sounds weird as hell, right?"
Nothing is as weird as me.
"Considering we have three of these animals now, I suppose it's not all that weird."
"Maybe not," she mused, watching the kitten continue to attack my hand. "You can pet her if you want."
Again, such a simple thing didn't occur to me. I curled a finger and allowed it to scratch over the kitten's head. Freyja's skull felt so fragile under the weight of my hand, I worried about hurting her.
But when I lifted my finger away, the kitten pressed up and headbutted it. She began rubbing her head against my knuckles so hard, she nearly fell over. A tiny rumbling sound came from her, like the smallest motorcycle engine. Confused, I looked up at Mariposa.
"What's that noise? Did I hurt her?"
"She's purring," the grinning medic answered. "It means she's happy."
"Why is she rubbing her head on me?"
"She likes you. She's marking you with her scent to claim you as hers." Mariposa laughed as the kitten flopped over on the counter, wrapping her tiny front paws around my finger as she continued to purr and rub her cheeks against my hand. "Scratch that. She's utterly in love with you."
"Huh." I extended a finger to run over the kitten's belly. "You're a funny little animal with strange taste in humans."
"So, for your sleep meds," Mari turned back to her array of pills after another minute of watching the kitten and me. "I'd like to put you on a two-week dose this time. Take one at night before bed, just like before. These do have a risk of dependency so if they stop becoming effective, or new symptoms come up, let me know, okay?"
"Okay. That sounds good." The kitten was distracting me so much, it was like I forgot to feel anxious. Was this what people meant by baby animals being "cute"?
I jerked my gaze back up to Mariposa, hoping I didn't offend her with my distracted response. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, Shadow." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, eyes darting around, looking everywhere but at me.
Fuck. She really was scared of me, no matter how much she tried not to treat me any differently. I pulled my hand away from the kitten, and turned to leave.
"I'll leave you to your work. Thank you again—"
"We should do this tattoo soon, right?" she asked the words in a jumbled rush. "The Steel Demons tattoo."
"Um, yes." I paused in the doorway, which Freyja took as an opportunity to scramble off of the counter and rub herself against my ankles. "If you are comfortable with me doing it. Reaper wanted you to have it done as soon as possible."
She nodded with a swallow, her nervous gaze continuing to bounce around the room. An ache squeezed my throat, all the way down to my stomach. It was probably for the best, but I felt some kind of internal discomfort with the confirmation that she didn't want me to touch her. At all.
I may not have known how to act around women, but I knew how to be a professional tattoo artist. When Jandro told me to just imagine her bare skin as a blank canvas, it helped. I did good work, and after some time to think about it, I felt confident I could work with her.
Plus, I wouldn't mind just seeing her and talking to her again. After a few minutes of conversation, she had a warm, calming effect on me that not even booze could replicate. She eased my nerves without numbing me. I could still feel, and while I wasn’t used to feeling this way—whateverthiswas—she made me want to feel it often.
But the fear in her eyes hurt me, in a way I didn't even know was possible to experience pain.
"It doesn't have to be from me," I told her, ignoring the odd pain sensation. "I can recommend an artist in the next town over. He's probably booked out for months, though."
"No, Shadow." Her eyes refocused on me. "I want you to be the one doing it."
