Page 79 of Painless
“My sister can stay with you,” he offered. “My dog is here to guard you at any time. If any of the men try to…to crowd you before you’re ready, just let one of us know.”
Andrea lifted her hands out of Reaper’s grip, and leaned away from my embrace. “Thank you, Reaper,” she said flatly. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to go home now.”
“She fucking hates me.”Reaper slammed his heavy glass tumbler on the kitchen counter and poured a generous amount of whiskey into it. “As she should.”
I walked up behind him, and he stilled at my light touch on his waist. Turning my head, I laid my cheek on the center of his back as I hugged him from behind.
“She’s heartbroken,” I murmured. “The love of her life is gone. She’s going to see him every time she looks at her children. Sure, she probably blames you for some of it, but that’s part of her grieving.”
Reaper turned to face me, his body stiff, but he didn’t remove my arms from around him.
“Have you ever lost someone you loved? Someone you thought would always be there?” His voice was still rough from lack of sleep and chain smoking, which made the question sound like a harsh accusation.
“You know I have,” I retorted. “My dad. And then my mom. I don’t even have the closure of knowing if they’re really dead or not.”
“Closure,” he snorted, like the word amused him. “A whole fuck-ton of good that does to make you feel better.”
I stepped away, letting my hands fall to my sides. He clearly wasn’t about to let his guard down tonight, to spill out his grief and sorrow in my arms as we fell asleep together. He was wounded by grief, by ego, and by the pressure he put on himself to protect and lead.
Those wounds were not something I could heal right then.
“You know what’s fucked up?” He took a deep swallow of whiskey. “I never told Andrea I was sorry. I wanted to, but,” he turned back around, pouring more into his glass, “I fucking hate those words. They’re just so hollow. They don’tmeananything.”
“But you mean them.” I placed a hand on his arm, watching the internal conflict he struggled with.
“More than anything,” he whispered, head bowing low. “Daren at least knew what was coming. He made that choice himself. But Dallas…it’s all wrong. He should still be here.”
Reaper gently removed my hand from his arm. “You should spend the night with one of the other guys, sugar. I’m not going to be great company for a while.”
He was right, but the statement still stung. “I don’t want you to be alone.”
“I won’t be. Hades’ll be with me.”
The dog raised his head from the floor at the mention of his name. He looked calm and regal, paws stretched out in front of him as he observed us.
“I’ll be with Jandro,” I told Reaper. “I need to keep an eye on his burn, anyway.”
“Okay.” For a moment, he looked like he didn’t want me to leave. Longing and love softened his features as he leaned in for a kiss.
“Do me a favor?” I murmured against his lips.
“Anything.” His arm on my waist tightened slightly.
I pulled back to see his whole face clearly.
“Let your brother in,” I whispered. “Let Daren talk to you. He communicates only with Noelle because you shut him out.”
I slid out of his embrace before he could ask any more, not that I’d be able to tell him anything that Noelle hadn’t said.
Before leaving I knelt down next to Hades, scratching over his velvety fur. “Take care of him,” I whispered. “He needs you now.”
The dog, or god within, didn’t respond with words. I didn’t know what to expect, but it wasn’t the weight of a warm hand on my shoulder. Even so, a sense of comfort washed over me, and I bowed my head in a silent thank you.
Twenty-Six
JANDRO
"What did he do?" I stared at Mari as she walked in, even though she didn't meet my eye.
