Page 86 of Painless
Hades barked, his teeth snapping within an inch of my face. His lips and ears pulled back, snarling at me like he never had before.
All that research and you still understand nothing.
“Then explain it to me!” I cried out. “What are you? What’s the fucking point? What do you want from me?”
Another menacing snap of teeth caused me to flinch.
Death is neither right nor wrong. It simplyis.You cannot control or undo it. Once your species stopped dragging its knuckles, you became obsessed with death. How to prevent it, how to use it as a weapon. You obsessed so much about something you could never control, you gave it a face. A name. You gave it a story.
I leaned back to rest my palms on the floor, still hopeless to reconcile my dog’s face with the sound of this voice rattling through my ribs and teeth.
In an ironic turn of events,Hades yawned,humans gave life to the concept of death.
“So what, this is all in my head?” I stammered out. “You’re just a figment of my imagination, even though Mari has heard you? Even though Gunner has flown through Horus?”
We are manifestations of the divinity within all humans.The dog licked his lips.Humanity may have brought me to life, but I am very much real.
Every answer only led to more questions, morehowsandwhys. They ran laps in my head, stringing together into gibberish. Mari’s curiosity seeped into me, but it only made my head hurt. I wanted to undo everything and go back to never questioning my dog’s abilities or what he was.
“My brother.” I didn’t know why those words were the ones to leave my mouth, but it made sense as soon as they hit the air. Thinking of him was the only spot of clarity in the garbled mess that was my mind. “Daren. Can I talk to him?”
You can, if you are open to receiving him.
The voice that answered was softer than Hades’. It was feminine and almost sweet. Instead of the sound vibrating my bones and organs, this felt like a warm caress on my skin.
Freyja stood and stretched, arching her back like a bow. Sliding her body against Hades, she settled between his front paws with a loud purr.
Your brother is with me. As is your fallen brother-in-arms.
“Why you?” I blurted out, quickly adding, “No offense.” It occurred to me too late that these weregodsand I should have probably groveled or offered one of Jandro’s chickens or something.
But Freyja didn’t seem offended.Their deaths were sacrifices. Selfless acts of love.Her sharp, feline eyes fixated on me.Rest assured they are at peace.
“Can I talk to Dallas too?”
No, I’m sorry.She stepped off the dog bed and walked toward me. A cat-goddess purring loudly and rubbing on my leg was the last thing I expected, but a small, almost minuscule, sense of ease washed over me from the contact. It was like a small piece of my grief lifted and evaporated into thin air. And not just the grief for Dallas, but the long-time festering guilt I held for Daren’s death.
Dallas is not gifted like your brother,Freyja explained to me.He cannot communicate from beyond. But his children, the products of his love, will feel his spirit. So will their mother, even after her heart mends and she falls in love again. Their memories of him, their joy in this present life, give him peace.
My eyes couldn’t stop moving from the cat to the dog, to the rafters in the ceiling, to the air in front of my face. The voices seemed to be coming from everywhere. I might have been well and truly losing it, but at least I wasn’t the only one. It was time to face the music.
“So what am I supposed to do?”
Freyja answered first.
Protect your people, especially the children. Love your woman with your whole being. And when her heart opens to love another, do not refuse her.
I narrowed my eyes in confusion. So Noelle had to be right. Mari would have a fourth man, but who else would there be after Gunner? He was the last of the men I trusted with Mari’s heart, let alone her body.
A low, rumbling growl pulled my attention back to Hades. He stared at me squarely, eyes bright and ears erect. I sucked in a breath, bracing myself. I knew what was coming.
When I give the order, you will not disobey. You will reap.
Twenty-Eight
MARIPOSA
Ireleased my breath while squeezing the trigger once, and then pulled again to squeeze it a second time.
