Page 30 of Heartless
Reaper spread his hands out and raised his shoulders in a shrug. "I dunno. How does next week sound?"
"Works great." I still sounded bitter but didn't care. Shit like this was why I didn't want to get involved with this group thing in the first place. Not that I regretted sharing Mari, I actually loved it. But it fucking sucked I had to be the odd one out because of logistical reasons.
"For what it's worth," Reaper fished out his cigarettes and offered me one as we left the building together, "Mari's pissed on your behalf."
"Is she now?" Despite myself, I smiled into my first drag.
"She says you have more of a right to be there than Lark, which is absolutely true. But try telling fuckin' Noelle that."
"Fuckin' families, man." I straddled my bike and made her roar to life, wishing I was going home to my woman instead of talking more battle tactics with dudes.
"I hear ya," Reaper sympathized, sitting astride his own bike as he zipped his jacket up to his chin. "In some ways, you're lucky you don't talk to yours anymore."
"Yeah. I'll see ya later." I pulled out of the lot and rumbled down the road.
He wasn't wrong about that. Leaving the Youngblood life was the best decision I ever made, next to choosing Mari. The Steel Demons had been the only real family I ever had.
I had fended for myself for years and didn't need parents as an adult. Mine had been utterly useless at parenting when I was a child, anyway.
While Reaper's upbringing was far from perfect, he did have the kind of family I always envied. His parents seemed to have a love like my grandparents did, like what I hoped Mari and I had. Something that would withstand the years, growing stronger, deeper over time, rather than fading away.
So it stung, feeling cut out, despite Reaper assuring me that it wasn't the case.
I had to hold on to what mattered—that Mari loved me. She was my wife too, and nothing changed that.
Nine
MARIPOSA
Gunner came to bed late that night, long after Jandro and Reaper started snoring. When I asked about where he was, Reaper muttered something about discussing strategy with the Sons of Odin.
I didn’t think much of it. My own day had been a long one at the hospital, demonstrating field medic techniques to trainees. Reaper, Jandro, Shadow, and I all had dinner together, and while it was nice to see Shadow feeling naturally included among my men, Gunner’s presence was noticeably absent.
My guys didn’t seem worried, so I tried not to dwell on it. But after Shadow and I kissed goodnight, and we went to our separate rooms, the bed somehow felt extra empty with only three people in it.
I couldn’t sleep a wink, but a sigh of relief left me as I heard Gunner’s motorcycle pull up outside. He entered the bedroom with the sounds of someone who was drunk enough to be clumsy, but not stumbling and sloppy.
Thankfully he had enough coordination to undress and slip into the open spot in bed quietly. I rolled over immediately, nuzzling into his skin that was still cool from the night air.
“Where have you been?” I whispered, dragging lazy kisses over his chest and throat.
“Baby girl,” he sighed, wrapping around me. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” My hands slid around to his back, rubbing up and down to warm him.
“Were you really pissed about me not coming to breakfast tomorrow?” He mumbled the words out, lips moving on my forehead.
I sighed deeply, resting my head on his shoulder. “Yes, love. I wish you could be there. Reap’s still trying to talk Noelle into bringing Larkan another time.”
Gunner let out a soft noise, sounding relieved as he wrapped around me. “I knew you would never shut me out.”
“Never, love.” I kissed him more insistently, finding his lips in the darkness. “I want all of my men with me. But it’s not my house or my rules.” My fingers stroked the locks of hair falling down his back. “I’m actually really nervous. And I know you being there would make me feel better.”
“I love being with you.” His voice grew sleepier and more mumbly every time he spoke. “You make me feel like I matter. I must’ve told T-Bone that like twenty times, but he kept pouring me shots so it wasn’t my fault.”
I grinned, unable to hold back my chuckle at his confession. “You do matter, love. So much.” I pressed a kiss to his Adam’s apple. “You keep me safe.” A kiss under his chin. “You make my fears disappear.” A kiss to his lips. “You make me the strongest version of myself.”
He didn’t reply, but his chest rose and fell with the steady, even breaths of sleep. Smiling, I turned in his arms and settled on my side.
