Page 40 of Heartless
"And..." I studied his face, trying to get a read on his emotional state. "Are you okay, now that you've felt that?"
"Yeah, just surprised really. I haven't physically felt anything like that in so long. Only during my nightmares, but...it's different." His expression turned playful, a smile twitching on his lips. "Do you think you could do that again?"
"Give you another hickey?" I laughed. "For scientific purposes?"
"Yes." His voice lowered with a light caress to my hip. "Purely for scientific reasons."
"Anything in the name of science." I pecked his lips once before mouthing my way under his chin, taking indulgent nibbles and leaving a trail of kisses down his neck until I reached the space between his collarbones.
"Do it harder," he urged, holding his T-shirt out of the way for me. "Try to make it hurt me."
I giggled at the innuendo in his request before I latched on just below the first mark I made. This time I held his flesh in my teeth, pulling with my lips and lashing with my tongue until my own mouth started to hurt.
"Wow," I remarked, pulling away. "That might be one for the record books."
It was roughly the size of a golf ball, a mottled, dark reddish-purple monstrosity surrounded by more red skin.
"I don't understand it." Shadow released his T-shirt and rubbed at the spot. "It hurt but...it also felt good." He shot me a worried glance. "What does that mean?"
"Maybe your brain has never associated pain with pleasure before." I folded my legs and returned to leaning against his shoulder. "So you've blocked it off when you know the intention is to cause you harm, but the pathway associating it with something pleasurable hasn't been explored until now." I shrugged. "Again, not a neurologist. Just a theory."
"But is that normal?" he asked. "To...enjoy pain?"
"Yes, completely normal." I kissed his cheek, my hand searching for his to hold and reassure him. "It's different for everyone. Some people like a little pain, others a lot. Some not at all."
Shadow's thumbs rubbed back and forth pensively over my hands and wrists. "I think I might like a little. Only from you. And I—" He stopped himself, pausing to think about his words some more. "Even if you liked it, I don't think I could ever bring myself to hurt you."
Why I hadn't melted into a liquid state by then was completely unknown to me. This sweet, beautiful man was just too much.
"I do like a little bit of pain too, sometimes." I propped my chin on his shoulder. "But not all the time. And when I do want it, I can usually get it from Reaper." I stroked Shadow's rough cheek, nudging my mouth toward his. "I like what you and I have."
"I do too." He sighed contentedly, lips skimming over mine.
"And I love—"you"—that you can talk to me about what you like. That's important."
His arms came around me, heavy and strong as he pulled me into his chest. "What I like most is just being with you."
My whole damn body couldn't stop fluttering. How could a man with zero relationship experience know the exact words to make me fall so hard?
I knew from Shadow there was no pretense, no flattery or attempt to be charming. He was just telling me what he honestly felt. And it was me, the one with nowfourpartners, who didn't have the courage to spit out my true feelings.
Kissing seemed to get the point across well enough, so I let my eyes fall shut and just tasted him. The man knew how to feel out a kiss, and matched my slow, lazy pace, just savoring and tasting.
"Do we ever have to leave?" I whispered, lips pulsing and bruised.
"Eventually," he hummed. "But not right now."
The sunlight had become harsh, almost uncomfortably warm. Being pressed up against a hot man might have had something to do with it too.
"Give me a second. I need to cool off," I told Shadow, scooting away to take off my leather jacket.
"It did get hot," he observed, tugging at the neckline of his shirt.
"This weather is nuts. It was snowing just the other day." I scooted toward a shadier patch of grass and stretched my legs out, crossing them at the ankles while I leaned back on my elbows. My T-shirt had ridden up, exposing a few inches of midriff, but not to the point where I cared. I was sweating there anyway.
"That, um." Shadow was making an adorable attempt to not stare at my body. "That shirt looks familiar."
"I stole it from Jandro, I think." I pulled the fabric straight to get a clear view of the design, now faded and cracked with age. "Looks like an early version of the club logo."
