Page 33 of Senseless
Have you forgotten your feet, daughter?The sky god’s voice almost seemed to be mocking me.
“What? Walk the rest of the way?” I demanded. “How much farther is there to go?”
Does it matter? Is there any distance you would not go?
No, there wasn’t. I knew that answer instantly.
I’d walk the entire journey from Four Corners if it meant I would see Shadow again. I’d cross that freezing-looking ocean on a life raft if that's what I had to do. I shouldered my backpack and started walking, leaving the dirt bike on the side of the road without a second glance. It likely wouldn’t be there on the way back, but Shadow and I would find a way home together.
We had to.
It was only another few miles before I started to feel the ache in the soles of my feet, the feeling soon traveling up to my calves and hips. I wished I’d brought my hospital sneakers instead of my riding boots. Even then, running around on flat floors had nothing on this barely maintained road and constant changes in elevation.
I ended up putting on all of my warmest layers, the coldness growing sharper as the sun started to set. I even pulled my shirt over my nose and mouth, the frigid air starting to hurt as I took deep breaths.
Walking was not only slower, but used up all my physical energy. I was more exhausted, hungry, and thirsty than I ever would have been on the bike, and covering far less ground. Moving so much slower also caused me to think more. It made me realize how much I missed my men. My last night with Jandro felt like a distant dream now. I couldn’t recall his warm touch anymore, not out here while I shivered in some foreign territory all by myself.
Reaper and Gunner, my heart ached heavily with missing them too, if even more than Jandro. I hated that it felt like so long ago that they were truly my husbands, when we were actually happy. This divide between us seemed to gape even wider with each step I took, every mile of distance I put between us. Even if I did make it back with Shadow, was there any going back with me and my men?
I pulled my arms inside my sleeves, hugging them against my body as I kept walking, although I was so cold, tired, and weak that it was more like shuffling. I tried to draw on memories of warmth, of waking up between multiple bodies pressing into me on all sides. If I shivered at all while in bed with them, someone would always wrap around me, even while dead asleep. Sometimes it got stifling, but I would kill for the heat and company of another person right then.
The sun finally dipped below the horizon, the temperature plunging even lower. I didn’t hear wings flapping, but the clicking of talons sinking into wood near me. Horus had settled on a fence post, sharp eyes and beak pointing to a structure up ahead.
Rest here, daughter.
A service center, out in the middle of nowhere, but with blue and red neon lights in the windows advertising cold beer and spirits. I shuffled forward, any signs of life more inviting than the frigid wasteland out here, even if they were from an old motel attached to a dive bar.
The heat inside was almost suffocating compared to how cold it was outside, even though it probably wasn’t any higher than seventy degrees. Laughter and conversations abruptly stopped as I shivered just inside the front door. I looked around, but my eyes seemed unable to focus.
“Holy shit, hun! You okay?” A female voice called out to me. “Doc, go check on her.”
“Jen, get a blanket and heat up some water,” a male voice answered. Then the weight of a hand rested on my arm with the same voice saying, “There’s a chair to your left. Take a seat and we’ll take care of you, alright?”
Too weak to argue, I followed his lead and sat down in a large armchair, my feet screaming with relief as I took my weight off them. The man who spoke knelt in front me, his hair and goatee mostly grey. Crows feet lined blue eyes behind thick glasses as he clinically checked me over for injuries, and then my pulse and temperature.
A medic,I realized.Maybe even a doctor.The woman had called him Doc after all.
“How long were you wandering out there?” he asked, pulling up on one of my eyelids to check my pupils.
“A w-w-week,” I stammered, my teeth still chattering hard.
“Damn,” he breathed, rocking back to look at me. “Where’d you come from, the girl’s camp?”
“N-no. F-f-four…”
“It’s alright, hun. You don’t have to explain now. You’ll be safe here.” His tone was gentle, soothing, something I wanted to trust even though I probably shouldn’t yet. I didn’t know this man, and plenty of people were good at pretending to be trustworthy.
“I c-c-can p-pay…”
“We’ll worry about that later,” the man said with a kind smile just as a woman walked up, unfolding a blanket to wrap around me.
“There you are,” she said, bundling me tight. “Don’t worry about a thing. Believe it or not, we’re used to all sorts walking through our doors.”
I found myself fixated on her sleeve tattoos. They were beautiful, intricate flower designs decorating her from shoulder to wrist. Parts of them were fresh, still scabbed and healing. The ink fit her overall punk-rock look with her dark burgundy lipstick, ripped stockings under her shorts, and piercings through her lip, nose, and eyebrow.
“Th-thank you,” I said, finally allowing myself to relax a little. Horus’s screeching be damned, I would need at least two days to recuperate. My body had met its limit on this fucking trek. I hated that it would be even longer until I saw Shadow, but I couldn’t keep pushing myself like this.
“Jen.” The man with glasses turned to the tattooed woman. “Is Ivan out there?”
