Page 37 of Senseless
“Son, I love Mari. You know I do,” Dad pleaded with one hand raised. “And I know you’re heartsick about her, but I’m talking about the whole territory. We have to think ‘big picture’ here. We’re responsible for not just the army, but everyone here.”
“I’m with Reap on this one, general.” Gunner tilted his head toward me. “You’ve been telling the governor we need to be ready to fight. Well, we’re fuckin’ ready. We’ve always had smaller numbers. The odds have always been stacked against us. We’ve had losses that hurt really fucking bad, and we still keep going. Sometimes we’ve gotten out by the skin of our fucking teeth, but we are still here.”
“We can’t meet them out in the field like a regular army,” I added, clarity finally beginning to dawn on me. “We have to fight like an MC.”
Twelve
IVAN
Igot up early, following the smell of coffee from my room down to the bar. Jen always made a strong pot first thing in the morning, and Heidi, the cook, made a mean plate of bacon and French toast.
The eggs were okay, but not all that impressive compared to the fresh ones from Jandro's flock. They didn't keep chickens here, but had eggs delivered from some market down south. It wasn't until I tasted the difference that I realized how spoiled I'd been before.
A plate of eggs might do me good today, though. I had a full day ahead of tattoo appointments, and a potential buyer was coming by to look at the Indian motorcycle I had restored in the junkyard.
The pang of missing Jandro flashed through me. I owed a lot to my old friend about what he taught me about eggs, bike repair, and more.
"Morning, Jen," I grunted out, approaching the bar when I hit the bottom of the stairs.
"Morning, Ivan!" she returned with her usual perky chirp. "You want your usual?"
"Yes, with a side of eggs, please."
"Coming right up, big guy."
I glanced down the length of the bar as she set the coffee pot in front of me, then did a double-take when my heart stopped at the recognition of the woman a few seats down.
No...No, it can't be.
I had to be dreaming, but I’d never had a dream this sweet before.
There she was, hunched over a steaming mug with a blanket over her shoulders, hair a tangled mess, and hazel eyes that rooted me to my spot.
The last time I remembered her looking at me, she was falling asleep on my chest and telling me I deserved happiness and healing.
"Good morning, Shadow." Mariposa lifted the steaming cup to her lips and paused. "Or is it Ivan now?"
"Mari..." Stunned didn't begin to cover the state I was in. A feather could have knocked me over. "What...are you doing here?"
"I came to find you."
An answer that was succinct, simple. Too simple for the racing questions in my head.
My mouth was much slower to catch up, to process that she washere."How?"
"Horus led me here."
Jen came out right then, her stance cautious as she set my breakfast on the bar, watching the exchange between me and Mari.
"You two know each other?" the curious bartender asked.
"Yes," Mari answered quickly. Then to me, "Can we have a word in private?"
Private, what a loaded word. I decided on my first day here that I'd never be alone with a woman again, not after what happened with her.
But she was here, right in front of me. After what I did, she wanted to talk to me. Led by a god that guarded me and renewed my sight, but for what purpose?
I didn't dare hope. I didn't dare dream. I deserved nothing from her, not even the tattoo under my sleeve that started to itch at that very moment.
