Page 66 of Senseless
I turned over in bed to see Shadow reclined on the opposite end. He was on his side facing away from me, at first looking like he was wearing some kind of jumpsuit. It took a few moments for the realization to dawn on me.
He was wearing a straitjacket?
“Shadow,” I croaked out hoarsely. My voice quickly became a whispered cough, and I searched the nightstand for my water bottle.
Shadow stirred and turned toward me as I took a few greedy gulps. He was indeed strapped into a full-body suit, arms bound in front of him, and even his legs were encased.
“Good morning,” he said.
I burst out laughing, spitting water all over the sheets, but cracking up too hard to care.
“What’s so funny?” Shadow stared at me. “Careful, your leg.”
“You…look…like,” I took desperate gasps of air between peals of laughter, “amummy!”
He frowned, looking down at himself and then at me. “It’s funny to you that I look like an ancient Egyptian corpse?”
“Yes!” I shrieked, falling back down to the mattress. “Why on earth are you wearing that?”
“You wouldn’t let me leave.” A smile finally curved his lips. “And I didn’t want…you know, anything to happen if I fell asleep. So Doc found this thing and strapped me in.”
I laughed into the pillow. “What an ingenious idea.”
“I figured I’d fall on the floor, squirming around like a caterpillar, and by then you’d be awake.”
Grinning at him from across the bed, I propped my head up in my hand. “So how long have I been out?”
“Almost two full days. You were kind of in and out the first day, but you never had a fever or anything, so Doc said to just ride it out.” Shadow swallowed deeply as his eyes trailed from my leg back up to my face. “You look much better today.”
“I feel better.” I stretched long again, mindful of the dull throbbing above my right knee. “How are the others? Is Jen okay?”
“Shaken up, but she’ll be fine.”
Shadow’s arms pulled against the restraints holding his arms to his chest. He wiggled from side to side in an effort to sit up higher, which prompted another laughing fit from me.
“Would you like to be freed from that?”
His lips quirked again. “As much as I love hearing you laugh, yes please.”
I crawled across the bed toward him, keeping most of my weight on my left leg. Even then, after everything that had happened and how ridiculous the straitjacket solution was, it was oddly erotic pulling apart the straps of the garment. He even let out a pleasured groan when his arms came loose from the sleeves. When I helped pull the top part of the jacket down to his waist, I saw that he was shirtless underneath, still wearing the red marks on his chest from where I gripped him so hard during the bullet extraction.
“Shadow, I’m sor—“
He grabbed my hand on its way to his chest. “Don’t be.”
“I was so…” He flattened my palm to his skin as the disjointed memories returned to me in a rush. Most of them sensations rather than images. “It feels like I wasn’t even really there. I just get flashes of pain and feeling so scared.”
“It’s okay.” His fingers stroked over the back of my palm. “Whatever you’re feeling is okay.” He looked a bit sheepish at my evident surprise at hearing such a thing coming from him. “It’s something that Doc tells me a lot. To just…bewith whatever you’re feeling rather than try to fight it.” Shadow’s warm caress over my hand continued. “Fighting just makes it worse.”
“Shadow…”
My lips fell to his in a desperate, needy kiss, one he returned with equal fervor and a moan that almost sounded pained. His large hands came to my arms, pulling me closer while my fingers dove through his hair. I remembered how he held me, soothed me as Doc dug the bullet out of my leg. How he helped to undress, bathe, and feed me, thinking only of my comfort and care.
“Shadow.” His name escaped my lips again when we parted for a breath. “Shadow, I love you.”
“Mari, no.”
Rather than meeting me for another kiss, he tore away, holding me back by my shoulders. He looked so sad, sorrowful, and pain sliced through me like another onslaught of bullets.
