Page 13 of Merciless
The next drawing showed me sleeping on a man’s chest—Jandro’s, I realized from the rib tattoos. Jandro’s head wasn’t in the frame, but his arm wrapped solidly around my back. My mouth was open slightly, cheek resting on his sternum and a hand over his heart.
I couldn’t stop bouncing my gaze from each of the drawings, fascinated at all the little details Shadow saw and brought to life on paper. Every time I looked, I saw something new. The freckle on my shoulder, or how he made my lips curve to give me a slight smile in sleep. I felt vulnerable looking at these, realizing how Shadow’s eyes truly missed nothing. They were highly intimate, these portraits. And although I was nude in every single one, they were not at all explicit.
That was not the case for the image when I flipped the page however.
My face heated at the sight of myself, laid out and bare from head to toe, with a man’s head between my legs—Jandro’s again.
Ecstasywas Shadow’s chosen title for this piece.
My head was turned to the side, mouth open in a scream and brows pinched with tension. One hand gripped the back of Jandro’s head while the other fisted the sheets next to my head. My back arched off the bed in one long, curving line. As I took in all the details, it dawned on me how realistic this portrait was. It was like going through a checklist in my head.Those are my breasts, yep. My hips, my belly, my legs.Shadow even drew my appendectomy scar, the one he loved to kiss so much.
There was no altering in this artwork, no ridiculously huge boobs or unrealistic waist-to-hip ratio. You would think a guy’s erotic drawing would contain plenty of fantasy in there, but no.
There’s nothing for him to alter,some voice whispered to me.Having you was more than he ever dared dream of.
Turning the page once more confirmed that, this last portrait pulling a sob from my chest. He drew me from the waist up, dressed in my medic jumpsuit complete with my red cross armbands. My face was serious, determined, with my arms crossed in front of me like I was about to tell some medics to get off their asses.
And he gave me wings.
Large, intricate butterfly wings spread out from behind me, making me look like some kind of ethereal fairy from another world. At the bottom of the page, Shadow wrote,Mariposa, the love of my life and healer of my soul.
A tear fell onto the page, then another.
The tears were coming faster and I had to shove the book out of my lap to not further ruin the drawing. I couldn’t stop, curling up onto my side as I sobbed loudly. Just when I thought I couldn’t cry over my men anymore, my well of sorrow turned out to be bottomless.
Six
MARIPOSA
Ihad no memory of drifting off to sleep, except for waking up with sore, puffy eyes and the heavy weight of an arm draped over me.
“Hey baby girl.” Gunner curled around me tighter and nuzzled a kiss into my hair.
“Hey.” My voice was scratchy and hoarse and I felt unusually warm. It took a moment to realize that was due to a blanket draped over us both.
Gunner was thankfully quiet as he squeezed me protectively, peppering kisses into my hair and on my face. None of my men would offer empty platitudes as comfort and I was grateful for that. They knew how I felt. That I wasn’t okay. If anyone could understand my pain, it was them.
“You tired of being sad?” he asked after several long minutes stretched on.
“Yes,” I answered automatically. I wanted this heavy, crushing despair to be gone.
“Good. Let’s go.” Gunner sat up behind me, pushing the blanket back as I looked at him in confusion.
“Go where?”
“The garage.” He was off the bed now and grabbed my pant legs to slide me closer to him. Then he scooped under my knees and back to carry me.
“Why the garage?” I didn’t resist, but just hung limply against his chest. All of my strength had been cried out.
“Because Jandro’s in there.”
“Okay?”
Gunner looked down at me with a wry smile as he carried me out of Shadow’s bedroom. “He’s been with you a little longer than me. He knows what you want when you’re sick of being sad.”
“And that is? Whoa, Gun!”
He did some crazy maneuver with my body that was too fast for me to follow. I thought I was going to fall for a second when he released one of my legs, but then he grabbed it again while turning me in his arms so that I was facing him. Gunner now held my legs around his waist in a straddle, barely missing a step as he walked us to the garage.
