Page 43 of Merciless
"Will you take off your mask and hood?" I asked.
I didn't think she would, but the woman shoved away the loose fabrics covering head and face as though they were suffocating her.
The resemblance was uncanny. Her hair was a lighter shade of brown than Mari's and her eyes were blue instead of that shifting green-to-brown. But her nose, lips, and cheekbones were identical to my wife's. If it weren’t for the deep lines around her eyes and mouth, they could have been sisters.
"I'm Emma," the guard said softly. "Emma Wilder."
"I wish we could have met under better circumstances, Emma." A sudden realization jolted me. "Your husband! Mari's father."
All of the suspicion and distrust drained out of Emma right then. She let out a soft gasp and scooted toward me across the floor until she crouched directly in front of me. If my hands were free, I could have touched her.
"Javier? Have you seen him?" she asked rapidly. "Is he...is he himself?"
My eyes dropped toward the floor, wishing I had better news to tell her. "Last I saw, he was being treated for injuries at our field hospital. When Mari saw him, he didn't recognize her."
I wasn't there for it, but Jandro had let me know what happened. By the time I'd been able to see her, we were all rounded up and held at the hospital because of the Sha trying to break into our minds.
Emma clapped a hand to her mouth, her fingers shaking.
"I'm sorry," I offered her. "His condition was improving, from what I understand. But then the Sha's forces swarmed over Four Corners. We evacuated the field hospital, but that's when we got captured."
Emma rocked backward until she sat on the floor again, her mind somewhere far outside of this prison cell. She was silent for a long time and I was too exhausted, thirsty, and hungry to get a sense of her mood.
"You love my daughter?" she asked to break the silence.
"Yes." My eyes were half-closed and Mari was all I could see. Imagining her was my only escape from this hellhole. "She taught me what love means. She's the most incredible person I've ever met. If we die in here," I let my head rest against the wall, "it'll be worth it, knowing she loved me back."
"The Sha won't let you die." Emma's voice was clipped as she replaced the hood over her hair and covered her mouth and nose again with the mask. "Him, maybe." She jerked her head toward Reaper. "But I think the Sha has a special interest in breaking and controlling you."
"Story of my life," I muttered.
Emma reached into her robes and pulled out something that made my breath shorten and my heart accelerate--a dagger with a slender but wickedly sharp blade. Just as quickly as she showed it to me, she hid it underneath her clothing again.
"It will be your choice," she whispered. "Just say the word, and I'll give you one final mercy. But you have one day, maybe less, to decide."
The gravity of what she was saying settled heavily over me. I didn'twantto die but I wanted to be controlled like a zombie even less. However, her method of choice just might tip me in the opposite direction.
"Is there another way?" My chest felt tight as old, bygone fears began rising to the surface. "Other than a blade?"
Emma blinked, her stare curious now in a different way. Blue eyes shifted over me as if taking in my scarred exterior for the first time.
"Taking a gun could blow my cover." She stood from the floor, heading toward the cell door. "I've already been here too long as it is." Her keys jangled as she unlocked it, metal hinges creaking as she let herself out. "The next time you see me, I need to know your decision."
"Oh,my son. Have you missed me?"
The voice jolted me awake. Fuck. No. I couldn't be awake. Not ifshewas here.
My mother's gaunt face hovered in front of me, only empty blackness surrounded her. Blood dripped from her mouth and her hairline. Whether that blood belonged to me or her, as a result of the village getting massacred, I didn't know.
"You're not real." I tried to close my eyes and turn my face away, but there was no escaping her. There never was. "You're dead. You don't haunt me anymore."
"I'll always haunt you, you worthless stain. Where do you think you'll go when that woman, my earthly sister, finally ends your pathetic life?" She grinned, her teeth stained dark with blood. "And with a blade, no less. Isn't that poetic?"
"She's not like you!" I roared back. "She didn't lock her child in a cage!"
I should have done my deep breathing, should have thought of Mari to calm myself. But I was so tired, so weak and desperate. My mother's ghost showed up at the perfect time to get under my skin and dredge up everything I fought so hard to keep at bay.
"Because she had a daughter!" my mother cackled. "A beautiful, perfect daughter. Too bad the girl wasn't raised right. She was stupid enough to love you, even to almost get killed by you. You see? Men arehorrible."
